Married Life Live, Session 2: Only Jesus can heal wounds.

uberlumen — Thu, 07 May 2009 20:33:38 +0000

Enjoy the notes and the brief audio teaching from our second Married Life Live session.

MEN’s ANSWERS:

What is your wound?

performance wound
not enough wound
distand dad and/or mom
not sensitive (family of origin-distant-did not express feelings)
non-emotional-grow up afraid of emotions/expression of emotions
self sufficient wound (can do life on own)

How does your wife help that wound?

acts of service
words of affirmation
touch
quality time
gifts

What role does Jesus play in your marriage?

put Jesus first–then marriage will follow
let Him rule, submit to Him otherwise it doesn’t work
Jesus is the glue.
example of forgiveness & grace
unconditional
grow closer to Him by prayer, reading Bible, fellowship

WOMEN’S ANSWERS:

What is your wound?

avoid conflict
perfection
inadequate
feeling valued/desirable
not loved
lack confidence
favoritism/suppressed feelings

How does your husband hurt that wound?

expectation
criticism: this is a BIG one. It is NEVER worth it! You WILL NOT change him/her by criticism.
trying to fix a problem
feeling not valued or under valued and undesirable

How does your husband help that wound?

open and share
healthy disagreement
acceptance
speaking truth
gentleness
support/encoragement
perspective

What role does Jesus play in your marriage?

unconditional love
Jesus loves us/rejoices in us

*KEY is to identify the wounds/issue because that helps to heal, recognize when they pop up, and focus on Christ to heal them. Spouse can’t fix/heal the wound, but we can minister to the wound as Jesus heals it.

*CRITICISM: It is NEVER worth it! You WILL NOT change him/her by criticism. My wife used to try this–ex. ‘you really should…find some friends that would be good for you etc…only when she gave up the criticism and started to pray did I start to make some of the changes that she desired. We have to remember that criticism is painful, counter productive, and never works to change us so DON’T DO IT. Love him/her just the way they are!

*DON’T try and fix it…it is usually the husband who wants to ‘fix’ the problem but whoever it is DON’T do it. LISTEN and only fix if asked to.

*AFFIRM, AFFIRM, AFFIRM: in all discussions/arguments, lead with affirmation and don’t stonewall or run away…meet the problem head on by talking and listening. A woman who stonewalls or runs from conflict with a husband who is from a stoic or non-emotional upbringing is very hurtful. A man from such a family of origin needs empathy and support not stonewalling.

*Allow Jesus to delight in YOU!

“…the LORD takes delight in his people…”-Psalm 149:4.

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LAWSON COACHING & CONSULTINGMarried Life Live, Session 2: Only Jesus can heal wounds. - LAWSON COACHING & CONSULTING

Married Life Live, Session 2: Only Jesus can heal wounds.