He proceeded to share a little known story about his time working with General Patton.  The patient told me that even his own grandkids don’t ask nor seem interested in his life experiences.  It was an interesting and amazing patient interaction.  I left that conversation so energized that the last 2 hours of my shift flew by.

Reflecting on this event, reminds me of the power of our ability to choose what perspective we will be in and what powerful question we can ask of ourselves and others.  Perspective: It is amazing to me how quickly I can shift from ‘dog tired’ perspective to ‘wow what an incredible patient and story’ perspective–shifting from falling asleep to being fully awake–better than any cup of caffeine!  Question: It is fun and shocking the power of a question to shift our thoughts and energy levels.  I recently asked at a dinner party: What do you crave?  This one question made for a deep and meaningful and laughter filled discussion.

What is the question that you could ask at work and at home that would energize or change your day for the better?

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Is anyone else tired of being realistic?  A saboteur (or gremlin) is a self limiting voice that whispers into our mind.  The saboteur is the voice that “shoulds” on us.  It tells us what we should do not what we can be.

Realistic is the penultimate saboteur.  I can hear the voice: “You will never be able to do that, be realistic.”

Let us today press pause on that voice, and listen to the other voice-the voice that speaks to our heart and soul.  The voice that says, “You can do it!”

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My wife has told him that he now must go today to appologize to the teacher admitting to her that he was wrong and that he is sorry.

You should see the tears that came from this.  He is very upset.  But this is a life lesson: Admit when you are wrong and say you are sorry.

I was reminded of Eisenhower’s letter and Lincoln’s humility.  Eisenhower when he was the commander of the allied forces held in his coat pocket a letter addressed to the troops and to the world admitting that he was entirely to blame for the failure of D-Day invasion (obviously he never had to send it).  Lincoln was always ready and willing to admit his failures and mistakes.

The #1 sign of a true leader is humility which shows itself by admitting when you are wrong and being willing to say we are sorry.

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It made me think of what I would have the button say to me if I could rewire it.  Answer: The minions laughter from Despicable Me movie.  Why you ask? Because I specialize in Reserved calm, leading from my mind rather than from my heart… The laughter button would remind me to laugh more.  BTW-I downloaded the minions laughter ring tone and whenever my kids call from home, my cell phone plays the laughter and makes me laugh out loud!

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In this New York Times article Paul Tough points out that the students that stay in college are not necessarily the super smart, super students.  It turns out it is the student that has exceptional character strengths (e.g. optimism and persistence and social intelligence).  These are the students who can recover from a set back, a bad grade, etc. and be resolved to do better next time…”the kids who make it are the ones who can tell themselves: ‘I can rise above this little situation.  I’m O.K. Tomorrow is a new day.'”

How do kids get this? FAILURE.  We need hardship to build this resilience.  “The idea of building grit and building self-control is that you get that through failure, and in most highly academic environments in the United States, no one fails anything.”-Dominic Randolph

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I have recently had some interesting conversations with 30 somethings who are STRESSED!  kids running around zapping their intimacy, chaos creating lack of connection, overworked, overwhelmed.

I have recently had some interesting conversations with 40 somethings who are STRESSED! Ok. You get the idea.

Stress is everpresent.  We hear that our 20’s are supposed to be carefree time to enjoy life.  We hear that our 30’s are time to settle down and make a family….etc.  But we let our 20’s pass by with busyness, stress, overwhelm, and our 30’s pass by with a marriage that dissolves from lack of intimacy, lack of connection…

What are we to do?

20’s: Develop the skills to recognize and manage stress

30’s: Create healthy patterns in our marriages–daily time outs with our spouse to check in and really connect/communicate, find scheduled times for intimacy, date each other, recognize the importance of Mom and Dad’s relationship coming ahead of the kids.

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I LOVE it! I told my son that is a girl you want to get to know.  Can you imagine the teasing that she must endure at high school to do her own thing? It must be immense, but she does it anyway!

Hats off for Cat Girl!  Creative, Unique, Hear Her Meow (or roar? maybe she will be a lion tomorrow?)

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I clearly will never be a ‘marketeer’ but coaching is not what someone else could ‘use’ or ‘need’.  Coaching is the unique opportunity to learn how to flourish, to learn how to live a life of fulfillment.  If we were to score on a 1 to 10 scale each segment of our lives (our marriage, relationships, work, play, parenting, etc.), what numbers would we see?  Are we living life to the fullest? Coaching is a gift.  It is the place to discover what a 10 looks, sounds, tastes, and feels like!  Can you imagine that?

Coaching has transformed my life and the lives of my clients.  It is an opportunity to learn & develop the know how to live your most fulfilling life, to live in the present (the land of the now here rather than the land of nowhere), to discover the power of choice, to laugh & live more…Now who doesn’t want some of that?!

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Lesson #12: Open up to fear unconditionally.
“There’s nothing wrong with feeling anxious, ever, over anything at all. Fear and anxiety are part of who we are. Once we drop the pointless, wrongheaded routine about needing to get rid of them, we can carry fear and anxiety around with us through life like friendly companions. Instead of battling fear, we just let it happen, and when the fight against it dissolves, so does the torment. We slowly learn to live in harmony with fear, anxiety, and stress, expecting them to show up and welcoming them when they do.”

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