Tag Archives: fellowship

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The Psychology of Choice & Character

Please enjoy this brief audio discussion regarding the psychology of choice in which I discuss several examples of the influence of the subconscious and of time on our choices.

Example #1: Volunteers were given scrambled sentences and one group was given a group of scrambled sentences that were about rudeness and the other group was given a group of scrambled sentences about being patient.  The group that had just found the words relating to rudeness were much more likely to interrupt the interviewer’s phone conversation.  Very interesting.

Example #2: The other example they did is they had again 2 groups but this time one group got scrambled sentences with words to be found about being old and the other group had random words.  These two groups of participants were then timed from when they left the office, where the testing was done till they reach the elevator and they found that there is a significant slower pace to the group of people that were finding the words that were related to being old elderly.

Example #3: One group was asked to think of a very smart person and then answer trivial pursuit type questions vs. another group that was asked to think of a very stupid person and then answer the same trivial pursuit type questions.  The group thinking of the smart person did better at answering the trivial pursuit questions!

Example #4:  Finally the last example is from the tipping point by Malcolm Gladwell and in this book he discusses a very interesting story regarding the good Samaritan.   Princeton University psychologist met with a group of seminarians people studying to become a pastor’s and they were trying to answer the question who would stop and help a person who is slumped in the alley head down, eyes closed coughing and groaning.  One group was told that they were late to the class that they were going to teach and they are expected in only a few minutes so they better get moving quickly.  The other group were told that they have enough time to get over to the classroom.  What they found was that on several occasions the seminary students going to give their lecture which was actually on the parable of the good Samaritan literally stepped over the mock victim as he hurried on his way.  What they say is of the group that was in a rush 10% stopped to help, but of the group that was not in a rush that had some time to spare 63% stopped and helped.  This study suggests that the convictions of your heart and the actual contents of your thoughts are less important in the end in guiding one’s actions than the immediate context of your behavior.

All of these studies suggest that we as individuals must be very cognizant of the world around us and to influence it in a positive way, to show a good character,  we must be aware of our surroundings and slow down.  Those with truly great character do the right thing no matter if they are late for a meeting nor are they influenced in a negative way by their surroundings.

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Men on the Path 2010

Why bother? It is so EARLY? I would rather be sleeping.  Church on Sunday is enough.

Really? I would agree….10 years ago.  But then…I had no friends that really knew me, that I could share my deepest fears and joys with…I had a marriage that was ok…I was lonely, anxious….

Men’s Group has rescued and transformed my life: I have friends that KNOW me…that I share my fears and joys with…who help guide me…who make me a better husband and a better father.  I have a marriage that is filled with joy. I have men who have surrounded me with love, prayer, and fellowship and who have rescued me.

What is the trick? Just show up.  Yes. It is that easy. Join us.

We are starting up again and going to have an exciting study from the Biblical book of Timothy with an emphasis on Leadership.

  • WHEN: Wednesday’s from 6:45am-8:00am
  • STARTING: January 5, 2010
  • WHAT: 1 Timothy
  • WHERE: North Park Community Center (NOTE: It is best to enter the housing complex off of Portola Parkway because then when you go through the gate the club house where we are meeting is straight ahead of you.

View North Park Community Center in a larger map

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Men on the Path, October 21, 2009: What does Quiet Strength Look Like?

Monte did a GREAT job discussing what quiet strength looks like.  Here are some points that we discussed:

  • The values of our culture are the opposite of the values of one with quiet strength.  Here are how the beatitudes would sound if they were written to our culture: Blessed are the popular for they will be admired.  Blessed are the consumers for they will keep us in the black.  Blessed are those with skeleton’s in their closets for they will remain hidden….
  • quiet strength is seen when we are helpless without God, when we are NOT in control, when we share our fears and ask for help instead of isolating (just recently I had another neighbor who was in the hospital for 2 days and did not mention it to his friend/neighbor, his wife appeared shocked when I said that I would have come and visited…men live isolated, lonely lives and don’t reach out!)
  • Are we afraid of success in the Kingdom of God?  What are we afraid if we followed the values seen in the Kingdom of God (i.e. the Beatitudes)?
  • Who is your Sam? When Frodo didn’t have the strength to make it up the mountain at the end of his quest, his quiet, strong friend Sam carried him on his back.  Monte shared that he had a friend when he was going through a tough time in his life who called him and said, “I will be your Sam.”  (btw-the name Samuel means God hears…hmmmm)
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Married Life Live!

Welcome Back! We are starting up MLL again.

The format for MLL is fun, informal, and interactive. We will eat together, and talk about how we can have better intimacy and great marriages.

Friday, October 23 from 6-9pm (Dinner and childcare provided)
6-7pm Family Dinner
7-9pm Marriage Seminar

TOPIC: “A Healthy Marriage”
Guest Speaker: Lana Bateman, Chaplin to Women of Faith & President of Phlippians Ministry

Location: Hicks Canyon Elementary School, New Multipurpose Room (3817 Viewpark, Irvine, CA 92602)

Sign-up or for more information please let us know. You can email us at uberlumen@uberlumen.com or call 949-400-5216

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Piercing the veil to our hearts

I love to read, but so often, I read and read and read but nothing sinks in, nothing stills my heart, nothing pierces soul.  Last night these words pierced my veil.  If only I was willing to allow God to tear down my veil how free, how joy filled, how wonderful marriage, friendship, fatherhood CAN be if we allow Him in….if we allow our wife and our closest friend(s) in to see our true heart and soul.
“What but the presence of a veil in our hearts? a veil not taken away as the first veil was, but which remains there still shutting out the light and hiding the face of God from us. It is the veil of our fleshly fallen nature living on, unjudged within us, uncrucified and unrepudiated. It is the close-woven veil of the self-life which we have never truly acknowledged, of which we have been secretly ashamed, and which for these reasons we have never brought to the judgment of the cross. It is not too mysterious, this opaque veil, nor is it hard to identify. We have but to look in our own hearts and we shall see it there, sewn and patched and repaired it may be, but there nevertheless, an enemy to our lives and an effective block to our spiritual progress.

Self is the opaque veil that hides the Face of God from us. It can be removed only in spiritual experience, never by mere instruction…There must be a work of God in destruction before we are free. We must invite the cross to do its deadly work within us. We must bring our self-sins to the cross for judgment. We must prepare ourselves for an ordeal of suffering in some measure like that through which our Saviour passed when He suffered…

Let us remember: when we talk of the rending of the veil we are speaking in a figure, and the thought of it is poetical, almost pleasant; but in actuality there is nothing pleasant about it. In human experience that veil is made of living spiritual tissue; it is composed of the sentient, quivering stuff of which our whole beings consist, and to touch it is to touch us where we feel pain. To tear it away is to injure us, to hurt us and make us bleed. To say otherwise is to make the cross no cross and death no death at all. It is never fun to die. To rip through the dear and tender stuff of which life is made can never be anything but deeply painful. Yet that is what the cross did to Jesus and it is what the cross would do to every man to set him free. Let us beware of tinkering with our inner life in hope ourselves to rend the veil. God must do everything for us. Our part is to yield and trust. We must confess, forsake, repudiate the self-life, and then reckon it crucified.

There comes a moment when its work is finished and the suffering victim dies. After that is resurrection glory and power, and the pain is forgotten for joy that the veil is taken away and we have entered in actual spiritual experience the Presence of the living God.

Lord, how excellent are Thy ways, and how devious and dark are the ways of man. Show us how to die, that we may rise again to newness of life. Rend the veil of our self-life from the top down as Thou didst rend the veil of the Temple. We would draw near in full assurance of faith.”–Pursuit of God by Tozer

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Men’s Group: Why show up? What is in it for me? The storms will come.

We had a football quiz to kick off our fall series: Quiet Strength by Tony Dungy (The Bible Study), and then we spent some time talking.  Mostly small talk….but we also spoke of the importance of being in a men’s group.  Do you ever wonder why? Do you worry about not fitting in? Do you have ‘better’ things to do with your time?  I don’t blame you.  I understand.  I had those thoughts myself, but I took a risk and started to show up and my life has never been the same.  The men in my life have rescued me.

We discussed Matthew 14:22-33.  Jesus calms the storm.  75% or more of men in America don’t have a friend that they can turn to in a ‘storm’.  I am reminded of 2 men who shared with me that they knew each other very well and were close friends, but when we started going deep under the surface, it became clear very quickly that they didn’t truly ‘know’ each other much at all.  This is the norm.  We walk through life completely alone with the facade of knowing each other.

10 years ago, I jumped out of the boat by sharing with a friend one of my deeply held ‘secrets’, and little by little we continued to grow closer and closer knowing everything about each other, our past, present, and future struggles, fears, and dreams.  I have never felt so free, peace filled, and truly alive knowing that there is someone that I can turn to with ALL my fears.

Then the storms came….and I had a friend who was there with me when I was drowning, suffocating, and had no where else to go….he held onto me and kept me from drowning when the waves were crashing over me.

I don’t know any other way to tell you.  One day, I decided to just show up to a men’s group even when I really ‘couldn’t’–too busy, bad time of the day, too early, etc.  By showing up, my life has been transformed–my marriage, my family, EVERYTHING–I now have friends that know more about me than I know about myself.  Join us! AND bring a friend along for the adventure of a lifetime.

The storms will come.  Who will be there for you? How will you survive?

“But what if your heart be right with God, and yet you are pressed down with a load of earthly trouble? What if the fear of poverty is tossing you to and fro, and seems likely to overwhelm you? What if pain of body be racking you to distraction day after day? What if you are suddenly laid aside from active usefulness and compelled by infirmity to sit still and do nothing? What if death has come into your home, and taken away your Rachel or Joseph or Benjamin and left you alone, crushed to the ground with sorrow? What if all this has happened? Still there is comfort in Christ. He can speak peace to wounded hearts as easily as calm troubled seas. He can rebuke rebellious wills as powerfully as raging winds. He can make storms of sorrow abate, and silence tumultuous passions, as surely as He stopped the Galilean storm. He can say to the heaviest anxiety, “Peace, be still!” The floods of care and tribulation may be mighty, but Jesus sits upon the waterfloods, and is mightier than the waves of the sea (Ps. 93:4). The winds of trouble may howl fiercely round you, but Jesus holds them in His hand, and can stay them when He lists. Oh, if any reader of this message is broken-hearted and care-worn and sorrowful, let him go to Jesus Christ, and cry to Him and he shall be refreshed. “Come unto Me,” He says, “all you that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28).”-excerpt from Holiness by J.C. Ryle

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Judge NOT & love and understand as Jesus would (Matthew 7:1)

As I write this I am STILL recovering from the tongue lashing that I got from a patients wife yesterday.  We were having a congenial discussion about her spouse (the patient), and as I prepared to write orders and discuss the possible diagnoses, she went OFF.  I mentioned that his chronic abdominal cramps may, in the end (IF all the tests continue to come back negative) be entirely from stress.  Well she did NOT like that option at ALL.  “Don’t tell me it is stress! It is NOT stress! I KNOW it is not stress.  There is something wrong with him. That is what the other doctors said….”  She proceeded to sware at me for a good solid 2 minutes which seemed like a lifetime.  I was so frustrated and mad! I just finished a great book on how to be a better doctor, and I continue to try and improve my doctor skills.  In the book that I had just read, the author spoke about what a disservice doctors have done by just ordering more and more tests without getting at the heart of the matter and just talking with the patient.  It is SO frustrating to try to spend the time and show compassion and try and educate the patient to get spit in the face for it.  When you see over and over again that the patient is NOT interested in hearing what you have to say then you become hardened and numb and just give them what they want even if it is not necessary or the best treatment option!

After this very stressful situation, I found from the patients primary doctor that his wife has ‘gone off’ on him many times in the past, but that she is a professing Christian.  Now I was even more frustrated and angry.  I SO wanted to go back in to tell her how angry I am at her behavior.  How dare she act like that and claim to worship my precious Savior.

Now this is where the healing, the importance of fellowship, and the lessons were learned comes in.  I talked it over with one of my colleagues who is a believer.  And he challenged me to not judge her in that way.  OUCH!

He said: 1. just think how tough she would be without Christ and most importantly 2. you have never acted that way??? really never??? we are ALL like this at some time in our lives.  You MUST consider HER situation.  She is frustrated; she is scared; she has been dealing with this without any answers for months….WOW!

Now a day later, I see that God was teaching me a powerful review lesson on forgiveness, understanding, judgment, compassion, love, AND that I MUST continue to strive to love and go against the grain–and communicate with my patients with MORE compassion and understanding!

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Sex, Marriage, Intimacy and Screwtape Letters: chapters 18-19

Key Scriptures:
Genesis 2:25, Ephesians 5:25, 1 John 4:18
Key Teaching points:
Sex is a spiritual discipline
Brokenness
Confession
Cross
Key Quote:
“Submit to my wife’s version of intimacy.”
Key Quotes from The Love Dare:
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The Love Dare (Alex Kendrick)
– Highlight Loc. 42-46 | Added on Sunday, May 24, 2009, 07:03 AM

The Love Dare journey is not a process of trying to change your spouse to be the person you want them to be. You’ve no doubt already discovered that efforts to change your husband or wife have ended in failure and frustration. Rather, this is a journey of exploring and demonstrating genuine love, even when your desire is dry and your motives are low. The truth is, love is a decision and not just a feeling. It is selfless, sacrificial, and transformational. And when love is truly demonstrated as it was intended, your relationship is more likely to change for the better.
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The Love Dare (Alex Kendrick)
– Highlight Loc. 930-35 | Added on Sunday, May 24, 2009, 07:10 AM

Yet this great blessing is also the site of its greatest danger. Someone who knows us this intimately can either love us at depths we never imagined, or can wound us in ways we may never fully recover from. It’s both the fire and the fear of marriage. Which of these are you experiencing the most in your home right now? Are the secrets your spouse knows about you reasons for shame, or reasons for drawing you closer? If your spouse were to answer this same question, would they say you make them feel safe, or scared? If home is not considered a place of safety, you will both be tempted to seek it somewhere else.
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The Love Dare (Alex Kendrick)
– Highlight Loc. 938-47 | Added on Sunday, May 24, 2009, 07:12 AM

The Bible says, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18). The atmosphere in your marriage should be one of freedom. Like Adam and Eve in the garden, your closeness should only intensify your intimacy. Being “naked” and “not ashamed” (Genesis 2:25) should exist in the same sentence, right in your marriage?physically and emotionally. Admittedly, this is tender territory. Marriage has unloaded another person’s baggage into your life, and yours into theirs. Both of you have reason to feel embarrassed that this much has been revealed about you to another living soul. But this is your opportunity to wrap all this private information about them in the protective embrace of your love, and promise to be the one who can best help him or her deal with it. Some of these secrets may need correcting. Therefore, you can be an agent of healing and repair?not by lecturing, not by criticizing, but by listening in love and offering support. Some of these secrets just need to be accepted. They are part of this person’s make-up and history. And though these issues may not be very pleasant to deal with, they will always require a gentle touch.
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The Love Dare (Alex Kendrick)
– Highlight Loc. 953-55 | Added on Sunday, May 24, 2009, 07:13 AM

(Psalm 139:2?4). And yet God, who knows secrets about us that we even hide from ourselves, loves us at a depth we cannot begin to fathom. How much more should we?as imperfect people?reach out to our spouse in grace and understanding, accepting them for who they are and assuring them that their secrets are safe with us?
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The Love Dare (Alex Kendrick)
– Highlight Loc. 1689-90 | Added on Sunday, May 24, 2009, 07:15 AM

Even its boundaries and restrictions are God’s ways of keeping our sexual experiences at a level far beyond any of those advertised on television or in the movies.
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The Love Dare (Alex Kendrick)
– Highlight Loc. 1699-1701 | Added on Sunday, May 24, 2009, 07:16 AM

This same oneness is a hallmark of every marriage. In the act of romance, we join our hearts to each other in an expression of love that no other form of communication can match. That’s why “the marriage bed is to be undefiled” (Hebrews 13:4). We are not to share this same experience with anyone else.
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Journal Time:
What would you want your wife to know about you and sex and intimacy?
What are some ways that you can show your wife that you love her?
Is your marriage both physically and emotionally in line with Genesis 2:25 image of marriage? why or why not?  How can you make it that way?
Group Time:
Is marriage only good when you are ‘in love’?  Can we fall ‘in’ and ‘out’ of love? explain.
“…persuading the humans that a curious, and usually shortlived, experience which they call ‘being in love’ is the only respectable ground for marriage…”
How can we keep the ‘excitement permanent’?
“…that marriage can, and ought to, render this excitement permanent; and that a marriage which does not do so is no longer binding…”
Is marriage about happiness or holiness? explain.
“…Now comes the joke. The Enemy described a married couple as ‘one flesh’. He did not say ‘a happily married couple’ or ‘a couple who married because they were in love’, but you can make the humans ignore that….humans can be made to infer the false belief that the blend of affection, fear, and desire which they call ‘being in love’ is the only thing that makes marriage either happy or holy…”  (see 1 John 4:18)
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Men’s Group: Calvary Road, Highway to Holiness, Chapter 4

The road to Holiness:

  • As a Christian, you will always remain on the road to holiness
  • The journey is called: sanctification
  • ways to not stumble on the road:
  1. physical exercises–kneeling at your bedside every morning to remind you to bend a knee to His will every day, fasting, etc.
  2. spiritual exercises–prayer, authentic community: take off your mask with a close friend daily/weekly (confess and share the intimate details of your life), time in God’s word, or as Francisco has said: “When I wake up every morning, Jesus is waiting for me.” (a focus on Jesus throughout the day, and looking for God moments even in the tough times of your day)

PLEASE read Dave’s wonderful comment below (just click on the ‘1 comment’ in yellow in the right hand corner of this post or click on this post title and you will be sent to a page with his comment below).

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Married Life Live Session #1, March 6, 2009 SUMMARY

Enjoy the audio summary of our teaching and here are your answers:
Ways the women feel loved:

  • affirmation–positive comments, gratitude
  • phone calls during the day
  • listen (turn-off TV, electronics) and listen without solving the problem
  • maintain peace if ‘mom’ is feeling upset
  • no selective hearing
  • pray together
  • affection (non-sexual)–hand holding, kissing, etc.
  • committment to purity (ex. victoria secret commercial, movies-selective etc.)
  • empathy
  • relifef with kids & house chores
  • balanced parenting (teamwork)
  • listening and following through (ex. listening to a book that was mentioned and then buying it for us)
  • date night (planning it from start to finish–including setting up a babysitter)
  • respecting in-laws and boundaries with in-laws
  • family and couple time as a priority
Ways men feel respected:
  • affirm us without asking (“you are my hero.”)
  • give us grace, forgive and forget–don’t bring up the past and don’t use the past against us
  • support our passions/hobbies & learn to enjoy our activities
  • understand our stress
  • speak with softer tones in your voice and without nagging
  • speak highly of us with your friends
  • trust our decisions
  • allign and stand behind us when we are parenting our kids
  • give us down time…respect our space
  • (am I forgetting anything?) the men did mention that the top 3 ways that they feel respect is: #1 SEX. #2 SEX. #3 SEX.

Please share with us your comments & feedback.

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Men’s Group: John 8:1-11 February 18, 2009

Summary from Dave:

On Wednesday morning we read the story of Jesus and the woman “caught” in adultery (John 8:1-11).  Please take a few minutes and read it before you continue.  And, as you read it consider your answers to these questions and record them in your journal:

Who do you relate to most in this story?  Why?

What is the purpose of the “Law” in our lives?

Well, many of us agreed that the woman in the story (the adulterer) represents all of us.  We are all sinners; no one is perfect, only God.  And, it is a reminder that before we go around condemning others for their sins, we need to look at ourselves, because in God’s eyes, all sin is the same.  An adulterer’s sin is not any greater than someone who cheats and lies in business or someone who views pornography.  In other words, it doesn’t matter which commandment you break, they are all sins and they hurt the One who loves us.  The grace that Jesus showed this woman is the same grace He shows us every minute of every day.  And, when we repent, Jesus commands us to go and sin no more (that is the key – we must go to Jesus and repent).  What I find interesting in this story is that Jesus tells the woman He does not condemn her but He does not tell her she is forgiven.  If you have some thoughts on that please write me; I’d like to hear them.

To the Pharisees of Jesus’ day, the Law represented the truth.  But Jesus turned the tables on them.  He showed them they were no better in God’s eyes than this woman.  The truth was, they were all sinners.  None of them was capable of judging the woman; judgment is up to God, not us.  We learned last Wednesday that the Law shows us the need for a Savior. Without Jesus we all fall short of the Law and none of us would make it to heaven. Have you thought about where you are on the grace/truth scale in your relationships?  Many of us are slanted toward one or the other.  Of course, Jesus was the perfect balance of grace and truth.  Who gives the grace in your relationship and who is the person of truth?  I know I am a man of truth.  It is difficult for me to show grace; I want to ram truth down your throat.  But, to counteract that, to temper my truth, God introduced me to Cynthia. If you saw my email last week you remember the grace Cynthia showed me.  By pairing me with Cynthia God is showing the grace given to me.  And, if you’ve gone on to the Uberlumen website (www.uberlumen.com) and listened to my testimony you know I do not deserve a woman of Cynthia’s caliber.  Kind of like how we do not deserve the grace, mercy and forgiveness God gives us.  God sure is good, isn’t He?.

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Men’s Group: The Good Samaritan February 11, 2009

Then an expert in Moses’ Teachings stood up to test Jesus. He asked, “Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” Jesus answered him, “What is written in Moses’ Teachings? What do you read there?” He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind.’ And ‘Love your neighbor as you love yourself.'” Jesus told him, “You’re right! Do this, and life will be yours.” But the man wanted to justify his question. So he asked Jesus, “Who is my neighbor?” Jesus replied, “A man went from Jerusalem to Jericho. On the way robbers stripped him, beat him, and left him for dead. “By chance, a priest was traveling along that road. When he saw the man, he went around him and continued on his way. Then a Levite came to that place. When he saw the man, he, too, went around him and continued on his way. “But a Samaritan, as he was traveling along, came across the man. When the Samaritan saw him, he felt sorry for the man, went to him, and cleaned and bandaged his wounds. Then he put him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him. The next day the Samaritan took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. He told the innkeeper, ‘Take care of him. If you spend more than that, I’ll pay you on my return trip.’ “Of these three men, who do you think was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by robbers?” The expert said, “The one who was kind enough to help him.” Jesus told him, “Go and imitate his example!” (Luke 10:25-37 GW)

 

Who do you most identify with in this story and why?

 

Have you ever felt like or been the man on the street?

 

What are the barriers to helping the man on the street?

 

Have you ever been too busy to help someone?

 

Is our decision to help someone determined more by our character or by our circumstances?[1]

 

What can we do to better prepare ourselves to be a good neighbor?

 

How can we ‘go and imitate [the good Samaritan’s] example’? [2],[3]

 

[2] “God does not demand of me that I accomplish great things.  He does demand of me that I strive for excellence in my relationships.”-Ted W. Engstrom, The Making of a Christian Leader, 81

[3] Luke 10:37

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Men’s Group January 21, 2009: David’s Grace to Mephibosheth

Passage: 2 Samuel 9

David asked, “Is there anyone remaining from Saul’s family I can show kindness to because of Jonathan?”2 There was a servant of Saul’s family named Ziba. They summoned him to David, and the king said to him, “Are you Ziba?””[I am] your servant,” he replied. So the king asked, “Is there anyone left of Saul’s family I can show the kindness of God to?”Ziba said to the king, “There is still Jonathan’s son who is lame in both feet.”  The king asked him, “Where is he?”Ziba answered the king, “You’ll find him in Lo-debar at the house of Machir son of Ammiel.” So King David had him brought from the house of Machir son of Ammiel in Lo-debar.Mephibosheth son of Jonathan son of Saul came to David, bowed down to the ground and paid homage. David said, “Mephibosheth!””I am your servant,” he replied. “Don’t be afraid,” David said to him, “since I intend to show you kindness because of your father Jonathan. I will restore to you all your grandfather Saul’s fields, and you will always eat meals at my table.”Mephibosheth bowed down and said, “What is your servant that you take an interest in a dead dog like me?”Then the king summoned Saul’s attendant Ziba and said to him, “I have given to your master’s grandson all that belonged to Saul and his family. You, your sons, and your servants are to work the ground for him, and you are to bring in [the crops] so your master’s grandson will have food to eat. But Mephibosheth, your master’s grandson, is always to eat at my table.” Now Ziba had 15 sons and 20 servants.Ziba said to the king, “Your servant will do all my lord the king commands.” So Mephibosheth ate at David’s  table just like one of the king’s sons. Mephibosheth had a young son whose name was Mica. All those living in Ziba’s house were Mephibosheth’s servants. However, Mephibosheth lived in Jerusalem because he always ate at the king’s table. He was lame in both feet.

 

 

1. Why did David show kindness to Mephibosheth?

 

2. Why is David’s kindness to Mephibosheth so significant?  What did the incoming king usually do to the outgoing king and his family?


3. What would you have done?  


4. Who is your Jonathan?


5. How did you develop a Jonathan friendship?  What does it take to develop a Jonathan friendship?


6. What is your Mephibosheth? (Where are you ‘lame’? What is your ‘tweak’?)


7. How does God respond to our ‘tweaks’? to our deformities?


8. How can we respond to other’s ‘tweaks’/deformities?

Dave wrote:

Cynthia and I just finished watching Evan Almighty.   Some of you are probably aware that Cynthia serves Pathways by teaching the 4th/5th graders every other Sunday.  Well, last Sunday (1/18) the lesson was on Noah.  One of the children brought up the movie, Evan Almighty.  Turns out, all of the kids in Cynthia’s class had seen it; neither one of us had.  If you have not seen this movie, I recommend you do; we really enjoyed it.  So, what does this have to do with our Men of the Path meeting last week?  In Bucky’s absence (welcome back Bucky), Drew taught on 2Samuel 9, which is the story of David and Mephibosheth.  (Don’t worry, when read the story, the name Mephibosheth comes up often enough you will be able to pronounce it before you finish).  {Pause, while you read the scripture.}  Okay, now that you’ve read the story (and if you’ve seen the movie) you can see the connection.  At the end of the movie, God writes the word “ARK” in the sand for Evan.  ARK is an acronym for Act of Random Kindness.  In 2Samuel 9, David shows Mephibosheth an Act of Random Kindness.  David’s word to his friend, Jonathan, took precedence over the world’s view of what a king should do.  In the culture of the day, a king would kill all members of the outgoing king’s family.  Mephibosheth was the “son of Jonathan, son of Saul,” as the Bible puts it; Mephibosheth was Saul’s grandson.  He not only had this as a mark against him but Mephibosheth was also lame in both feet.  In David’s day, people had no use for a cripple; they were generally ignored by society and left to die.  I got the impression that nearly everyone forgot about Mephibosheth; he was considered worthless.  Can you imagine what was going through Mephibosheth’s mind as he was being escorted to see the new king?  The man his grandfather was trying to kill?  The man who conquered and now ruled the land?  Verse 7 tells us the answer;  “David said, don’t be afraid.”  Rather than follow the culture of the world, David chose an Act of Random Kindness.  Mephibosheth got to eat at King David’s table every night and was given all of his grandfather’s land and servants.  In the end, Mephibosheth enjoyed a privileged life.  So, I ask, have you shown an ARK lately?  Has God blessed you and have you given that blessing back by showing kindness to someone who may need it right now?  Do you know there are men and women at Pathways who have been unemployed for some time?  Have you talked to them or prayed for them lately?  Have you asked them how you can help?  As I write this I find myself saying I have not done enough.  I pray for them but I have not been in close communication with them.  I know I cannot offer financial assistance but I can offer words of encouragement, a handshake or a hug.  I hope this touches your heart enough to seek out those who are struggling and ask how you can help.  If you don’t know who the unemployed are, ask Bucky, or one of the elders.  There are a lot of churches and a lot of men’s groups out there.  So how can we be different?  By walking our talk.  Remember, we are a community, a family.  And, we aren’t just any men’s group; we are the Men of the Path.  Let’s reach out and show we care (see Acts 2:42-47 for a biblical example of truly sharing in community and fellowship and what God did in return).

As always, please share your thoughts with us.

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Men’s Group January 7, 2009: What is your giant in 2009?

What is your giant in 2009? How can you make your giant into a dwarf?

We discussed David’s response to his giant-Goliath:

1. He relied on his past.

  • Tool chest: God gives each of us a unique set of tools/gifts that we must use.  David’s tools was his ability to fight lions and bears.  With this unique skill, he was able to face his giant with confidence.
  • God’s faithfulness: I know of some friends who keep a diary/journal logging all of God’s faithfulness in the peaks and pits of life so that they can look back on know that God is faithful.

2. He trusted God for his future.  David fought his giant by trusting in God for the future.

3. Living in the present.  

  • my giant is FEAR.  I fear the future.
  • I can make my giant into a dwarf by living in His presence, trusting in God’s plan for the future, and praising God’s past faithfulness.

“But David said to Saul, “Your servant was tending his father’s sheep. When a lion or a bear came and took a lamb from the flock, I went out after him and attacked him, and rescued it from his mouth; and when he rose up against me, I seized him by his beard and struck him and killed him. “Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; and this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, since he has taunted the armies of the living God.” And David said, “The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear, He will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine ” And Saul said to David, “Go, and may the LORD be with you.” Then Saul clothed David with his garments and put a bronze helmet on his head, and he clothed him with armor. David girded his sword over his armor and tried to walk, for he had not tested them. So David said to Saul, “I cannot go with these, for I have not tested them.” And David took them off. He took his stick in his hand and chose for himself five smooth stones from the brook, and put them in the shepherd’s bag which he had, even in his pouch, and his sling was in his hand; and he approached the Philistine.”-1 Samuel 17:34-40

Insights from Dave:

Last Wednesday Bucky presented us with Psalm 20 and it’s “prequel,” the story of David and Goliath.  Before going further please take a few moments and read both in that order.  

What we learned was Psalm 20 was a prayer David prayed as an intercessory prayer over his army before battle.  In this prayer, David tells his army some “May God” items:
  
May the Lord answer…
May he send you help…
May he remember…
May he give you the desire…

Then, David tells his army that he knows the Lord saves his anointed and that they need to trust in the Lord, not in chariots and horses.  David knew God wasn’t in the background but on the frontlines with him and his men.

How did David know these things? That is where the story of David and Goliath comes in.  Couldn’t you say that David knew from experience that the Lord saves his anointed?  There is so much to write about this story; like how the Lord was preparing David for that day through his sheparding of sheep (David was a “professional” with that slingshot), and how all of the Israelites judged Goliath by his outward appearance (Goliath was a giant); they didn’t realize God looks at the heart.  David’s heart was in the right place because he had a relationship with God.  His psalms are proof that David kept a journal and talked with God daily; David knew God was with him.  When he decided to take on Goliath he wasn’t doing something careless.  I believe he talked with God about it first; he prayed, meditated and listened for God’s voice.
 

Our discussion focused on two things – victories and giants.  What victories has God given you in the past?  What giants are you facing in the New Year?  Take a few minutes and write down your thoughts on these two questions.  If you have a journal you may want to record them there.  Around our table, most folks talked about the economy as one of their giants.  But, we were fortunate to have Patrick at our table; I like how God speaks to Patrick (and am thankful Patrick is listening for God’s voice).  Patrick said God is probably smiling about our down economy because more people turn to God in tough times.  So, financially, it may not be good for our nation, but in terms of salvation, it could be a booming time for God.  This line has had me thinking the last few days.  I thought, if I am thinking and worrying about the economy, I am selfishly thinking of myself and not the things of God; my trust is in horses and chariots and not in God.  God takes care of His anointed – I need to put my focus on Him, not me; God has me covered.

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Brennan Manning #4: Abba’s Child

This is part 4 of 4 in the Brennan Manning speaking series from Mariners Church in 1996.  It is AMAZING!  I have been sharing these lectures with men from my men’s group for years, and they ALL have been AMAZED and changed by his beautiful insights, humor, and stories.  If you haven’t heard him speak or read any of his books please start NOW.

Some of my favorites:

Ruthless Trust

Signature of Jesus

Rabbi’s Heartbeat

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Brennan Manning #3: My Journey with Jesus

This is part 3 of 4 in the Brennan Manning speaking series from Mariners Church in 1996.  It is AMAZING!  I have been sharing these lectures with men from my men’s group for years, and they ALL have been AMAZED and changed by his beautiful insights, humor, and stories.  If you haven’t heard him speak or read any of his books please start NOW.

Some of my favorites:

Ruthless Trust

Signature of Jesus

Rabbi’s Heartbeat

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Brennan Manning #2: Relentless Tenderness of God

This is part 2 of 4 in the Brennan Manning speaking series from Mariners Church in 1996.  If you haven’t heard him speak or read any of his books please start NOW.  It is AMAZING!  I have been sharing these lectures with men from my men’s group for years, and they ALL have been AMAZED and changed by his beautiful insights, humor, and stories.  If you haven’t heard him speak or read any of his books please start NOW.

Some of my favorites:

Ruthless Trust

Signature of Jesus

Rabbi’s Heartbeat