Worry-Free Living
Christian Soul Care Devotional
William Gaultiere, Ph.D.
In the Bible Paul wrote, “Do not be anxious about anything” (Philippians 4:6). Is this really possible? Can you and I learn to be free of anxiety and worry?
Anxiety is probably the most common problem that Kristi and I have helped people with over the last twenty-five years. In our Christian Soul Care office, in churches, on retreats, and in small groups we’ve given care, counsel, and prayer to so many anxious people – including ourselves!
Is it any wonder why? We try to do too much in a day. We push ourselves beyond our limits to achieve our goals. We think multi-tasking is good. We drive too fast. We’re information overloaded. We don’t know how to rest and we don’t get enough sleep. We don’t know the meaning of “good enough” or “enough” of anything. We want more than we have. We want better health than we have. We want to be happier than we are. We try to make other happy with us. We seek constant stimulation through entertainment, noise, over activity, adrenaline, or caffeine. And we’re sure that the grass is green on the other side of the fence and somehow we’ve got to get over there.
We think we’re anxious because of stress, but we’re wrong. We’re anxious because of our attitude. We don’t worry or become tense and agitated because of stress that happens to us – stress is a natural part of life. Our problem is that we respond to our life challenges by becoming fearful or by fighting against reality. This internalized stress in our bodies is anxiety and it does more to damage our health and our relationships than probably anything else.
Anxiety is considered a secondary emotion because we only feel anxious when we have unwanted emotions like fear, anger, shame, or sadness that we’re trying to get rid of. In other words, anxiety is a control problem. When you or I are anxious it’s because we’re trying to control things: how we feel, what people think of us, or the outcomes of situations in our lives.
People who are anxious usually feel that they shouldn’t be anxious – they’re upset at themselves for feeling like they do, for being “weak” or for needing help. They’re convinced that if they just try harder things will get better. But trying harder rarely makes things better. We need to learn to try differently, to train to become the kind of person who can rely on care from God and others and submit to God in all things and, therefore, be at peace.
We need to learn to trust God and others by opening up our hearts to care, being honest and vulnerable, admitting to and verbalizing our emotions regarding what’s stressing us out or hurting us. (It’s ironic that accepting the reality of an emotional problem and not rushing to “fix” it helps to relieve anxiety.)
And as part of receiving care it’s very important to focus on absorbing and agreeing with the compassion offered. To “agree with” someone’s care for you is to smile and say, “Thank you!” It’s to say to yourself, “Yes, I needed that listening. What a blessing my friend is to me.” It’s to repeat to yourself words of affirmation or encouragement that someone offers you. It’s to memorize a Bible verse that ministers to your soul and to marinate your mind in it, speaking God’s word to your soul in prayer over and over again. The Psalmist models for us this authentic faith in community and in prayer.
The Psalmist also continually submits himself to the Sovereign Lord’s will, rather than trying to make things turn out in his life the way he wants. He does ask God for what he wants, but then he waits… and waits! And in the waiting he learns to focus his wanting on developing a closer relationship with the Lord rather than being consumed with concern over one of they myriad of lesser blessings we all tend to desire. (It’s another surprising irony that when we deny ourselves we discover true life.) And when he’s angry because he’s been disappointed or mistreated he entrusts his anger to God and his justice rather than seeking revenge or becoming embittered.
Daily I use the Psalmist’s prayers to help me to live out his authentic faith in which he cries out to God. Many of his Psalms read like journal entries and help me to get in touch with and admit my own emotional struggles. And the Psalmist shows me how in the midst of my troubles I can give thanks for the Lord’s goodness to me and speak his words of love to myself.
Each day I also use the Psalmist’s prayers of submission to help me to get into Jesus’ easy yoke (as we discussed in the last Christian Soul Care Devotional). One of the ways that Jesus himself learned to submit to the Father and to stay in the Father’s easy yoke was through praying the Psalms. He prayed the Psalms everyday and he recited them frequently. For instance, one of my favorite prayers of submission is Jesus’ adaptation of Psalm 31:5, which he used during his suffering on the cross: “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit” (Luke 23:46).
Real-life prayers of submission like Jesus’ cross prayer are the best way to eliminate anxiety. Jesus found this so important that he put submission right in the heart of the Lord’s Prayer – even before petitions and confession of sin – with the words: “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10).
Honest prayer and submission to God really works! Some time ago I experienced a disappointment. I put my heart into preparing something and then I was told it wasn’t needed. I felt hurt and frustrated. I started to become anxious so rather than ruminate over the situation or become resentful I talked to God about how I felt (and I might add that I shared this with Kristi). Then a simple prayer of submission came to me: “Lord, your will, your way, your time.” Again and again I prayed this over my disappointment, deepening my submission to God in this matter in three fundamental ways:
- God’s will for me is always good and can be accomplished when I am mistreated or experience hardship
- God’s way for me to follow is always good and it focuses more on my character formation in Christ than the accomplishments or blessings I may want
- God’s time for me to receive what I seek is always good and it usually requires that I wait longer than I want
I have used this prayer of submission as a Centering Prayer for myself and others countless times since. It helps me follow the holy advice I received in spiritual direction from a Benedictine monk: “Relax in the yoke of God’s providence.”
What is something that you’re stressed about or hurting over? Talk to God and a friend honestly this situation and pray to relax in the yoke of God’s providence. Place your struggle before the Lord in prayer as you slowly repeat: “Lord, your will, your way, your time… Lord, your will, your way, your time… Lord, your will, your way, your time.”