Tag Archives: Parenting

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Parenting Top 10

The latest edition of Mind magazine from Scientific American had an article about parenting. Including a top 10 list of key factors in parenting that predict a strong parent-child bond and children’s happiness, health, and success. Some are obvious, but others may not be.

The one that I continue to see that many parents can’t believe and don’t follow is that a strong parental relationship is KEY to happy and successful kids. A kid centered family is NOT healthy. We must date our spouse. The love that you show your spouse in some studies has been shown to be MORE important at times than the love you show your kids. The love you show your spouse is also a key model for your kids to see relationship love, respect, and support so they will hopefully have a successful marriage…

1. Love and affection. You support and accept the child, are physi-
cally affectionate, and spend quality one-on-one time together.
2. Stress management. You take steps to reduce stress for yourself
and your child, practice relaxation techniques and promote posi-
tive interpretations of events.
3. Relationship skills. You maintain a healthy relationship with your
spouse and model effective relationship skills with other people.
4. Autonomy and independence. You treat your child with respect and
encourage him or her to become self-sufficient and self-reliant.
5. Education and learning. You promote and model learning and
provide educational opportunities for your child.
6. Life skills. You provide for your child, have a steady income and
plan for the future.
7. Behavior management. You make extensive use of positive reinforcement and punish only when other methods of managing behavior have failed.
8. Health. You model a healthy lifestyle and good habits, such as regular exercise and proper nutrition, for your child.
9. Religion. You support spiritual or religious development and participate in spiritual or religious activities.
10. Safety. You take precautions to protect your child and maintain awareness of the child’s activities and friends. —excerpt from Mind magazine

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Top 10 Books: How to Win Friends and Influence People

Besides the Bible, I have read many books over the years.  A few have made it into the ‘top 10’ or well maybe the ‘top 20’.  This is one for the top 10.  A book with foundational Christian principles.  It can transform your life and relationships if you let it.

How to Win Friends and Influence People is an old book that I wish that I had memorized in high school! I have listened to it on CD several times now, and it continues to teach me key life principles that are also for the most part Biblical principles as well.

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie (I recommend the hardcover to allow for taking notes in the margins…yes, I am a GEEK!)

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Teaching ‘Right’

In today’s excerpt – teaching. Through many years of systematic observation of some of the very best teachers, teacher Doug Lemov has identified forty-nine key techniques that separate the very best teachers from merely good ones. One of these forty-nine techniques he has labeled “Right is Right”:

” ‘Right Is Right’ is about the difference between partially right and all-the-way
right – between pretty good and 100 percent. The job of the teacher is to set a
high standard for correctness: 100 percent. The likelihood is strong that students will stop striving when they hear the word right (or yes or some other proxy), so there’s a real risk to naming as right that which is not truly and completely right. When you sign off and tell a student she is right, she must not be betrayed into thinking she can do something that she cannot.

“Many teachers respond to almost-correct answers their students give in class
by rounding up. That is they’ll affirm the student’s answer and repeat it, adding some detail of their own to make it fully correct even though the student didn’t provide (and may not recognize) the differentiating factor. Imagine a student who’s asked at the beginning of Romeo and Juliet how the Capulets and Montagues get along. ‘They don’t like each other,’ the student might say, in an answer that most teachers would, I hope, want some elaboration on before they called it fully correct. ‘Right,’ the teacher might reply. ‘They don’t like each other, and they have been feuding for generations.’ But of course the student hadn’t included the additional detail. That’s the ’rounding up.’ Sometimes the teacher will even give the student credit for the rounding up as if the student said what he did not and what she merely wished he’d said, as in, ‘Right, what Kiley said was that they don’t like each other and have been feuding. Good work, Kiley.’ Either way, the teacher has set a low standard for correctness and explicitly told the class that they can be right even when they are not. Just as important, she has crowded out students’ own thinking, doing cognitive work that students could do themselves (e.g., ‘So, is this a recent thing? A temporary thing? Who can build on Kiley’s answer?’).

“When answers are almost correct, it’s important to tell students that they’re
almost there, that you like what they’ve done so far, that they’re closing in on
the right answer, that they’ve done some good work or made a great start. You
can repeat a student’s answer back to him so he can listen for what’s missing
and further correct – for example, ‘You said the Capulets and the Montagues
didn’t get along.’ Or you can wait or prod or encourage or cajole in other ways
to tell students what still needs doing, ask who can help get the class all the
way there until you get students all the way to a version of right that’s rigorous
enough to be college prep: ‘Kiley, you said the Capulets and the Montagues
didn’t get along. Does that really capture their relationship? Does that sound like what they’d say about each other?’

“In holding out for right, you set the expectation that the questions you ask and their answers truly matter. You show that you believe your students are capable of getting answers as right as students anywhere else. You show the difference between the facile and the scholarly. This faith in the quality of a right answersends a powerful message to your students that will guide them long after they have left your classroom.

“Over the years I’ve witnessed teachers struggle to defend right answers.
In one visit to a fifth-grade classroom, a teacher asked her students to define
peninsula. One student raised his hand and offered this definition: ‘It’s like, where the water indents into the land.’ ‘Right,’ his teacher replied, trying to reinforce participation since so few hands had gone up. Then she added, ‘Well, except that a peninsula is where land indents into water, which is a little different.’ Her reward to the student for his effort was to provide him with misinformation. A peninsula, he heard, is pretty much ‘where the water indents into the land’ but different on some arcane point he need not really recall. Meanwhile, it’s a safe bet that the students with whom he will compete for a seat in college are not learning to conflate bays and peninsulas.”

Author: Doug Lemov
Title: Teach Like a Champion
Publisher: Jossey-Bass, A Wiley Imprint
Date: Copyright 2010 by John Wiley & Sons
Page: 35-37

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Love and Respect

Love and Respect

There is a GREAT marriage and relationship book titled: Love and
Respect. The premise of this book is simply: “…each individual
among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife
must see to it that she respects her husband.”-Ephesians 5:33

It is very interesting that the author of this letter, Paul, doesn’t
ask the wife to ‘love’ the husband. Men, in general, feel loved by
being respected. We all want to be loved. We all want to hear the
words: ‘I love you.’ But men in particular need to hear that they are
valued. Most men would prefer to hear the words: ‘You are my hero.’
Strange as this may seem, I have seen this truth played out in my own
life and in the lives of the vast majority of men.

It is important for ALL of us to feel valued, to be respected. It is
important to treat each other and our patients with R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

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To Quell or not to Quell your Emotions?

In reply to the post on emotions, we got a posted comment asking: How to quell your emotions?  Here are some thoughts….

To quell or not to quell?

To Quell:  YES! Join the crowd of men with distant non-emotive fathers from a family of origin of quellers.  This is me.  I am a queller.  I have been well trained in the art.  I even get a small whiff of emotion and I run for cover.  The problem: Quelling leads to men (and women) who don’t know what to do with their emotions.  We try to stuff them down deep, hide them, pretend they don’t exist, cover them with logic and hard work, but they are there in a very powerful way.  We hide them only to realize that they direct so many of our actions.  Even worse, the queller is prone to incredible outbursts of emotions often acting shocked, “Where did those come from?!”  Under extreme stress emotions boil over into rage and angry explosions.

The queller has been trained in the art of disconnect.  We are the superhero’s that are calm powerhouses of intellect and logic within our families of origin that are unraveling by alcohol and dysfunction.  Robotic, we move through life seemingly unphased.  Our war cry (sorry whisper):  “I don’t need people! I don’t need emotional connection!”

When in reality that is what life is ALL about: Connectedness, relationship.  Only when I was dropped to my knees by catastrophic circumstances in my own life was I finally forced to lean on my wife and others.  And it was extremely painful for me to reach out to others.

Not to Quell:

“…listening to your emotions ushers you into reality and reality is where you meet God”-Peter Scazzero, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality

This is the way of true life:  Knowing and embracing the reality of our emotions.  The key is to be aware of what I am feeling, being aware of my emotions because otherwise we let our emotions fester and smolder and control us.

How do we listen to our emotions?  How do we embrace and welcome our emotions as the window to reality?

We need to learn to get into a rhythm with our emotions.  A few ‘tricks’ can be used.  The first is called ‘tagging’.  Recognize when anger, frustration, and other emotions are starting to boil and ‘tag’ then to discuss and retrieve them at a later time.  Develop a pattern or rhythm of checking in with your spouse or close friend to discuss these ‘tagged’ emotions.  The other ‘trick’ is to recognize your emotions before they overtake you.  Recognize the situations and times when you can start to feel your emotions bubbling over and intervene at that moment.  Recognize and analyze why the situation is giving you that emotional response.  In time, this approach will allow you to acknowledge your emotions and address them in healthier ways rather than waiting until they sneak up and explode on you and those around you.

Finally, what can I do when my emotions (anger, frustration, etc) start to boil over?  Here is the challenge as Teresa Avila said, “…learn to sit in the weeds (of your emotions)…”  What is God trying to say to me through this emotion?  Why am I feeling this emotion in this situation?  What is the emotion saying about me?  Emotions are simply a guide.  Take a ‘time out’ to listen to God’s whisper, and remember that He is ALWAYS whispering to YOU that He loves and adores and DELIGHTS in YOU!

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Life Principle #2: Give Honest, Sincere Appreciation

I have been struck by the power of affirmation and appreciation.  I have also been struck by the destructive power of criticism.

Recently I tried to encourage someone to always find the good, always look for the opportunity to compliment and appreciate, and never complain or criticize.  Their response was, “But if you only knew that person, if you only knew how difficult they can be, and how much criticism they deserve.”

This response misses the point completely!  It was only when I dropped the contempt and criticisms did I start to see the gifts in the other person.  It is only when you look for the appreciation will the critical spirit in YOU fade away.

It is NOT about the other person; it is about YOU.  It is about healing YOUR image of yourself, the world around you, and others.

Our marriages and relationships would truly be transformed if we followed Carnegie’s first 2 principles always leading with this one.

“I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people…the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement.  There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors.  I never criticize anyone.  I believe in giving a person incentive to work.  So I am anxious to praise but loathe to find fault.  If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise… in my wide association in life, meeting with many and great people in various parts of the world… I have yet to find a person, however great or exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than he would ever do under a spirit of criticism.”-Charles Schwab

“Every man I meet is my superior in some way.  In that, I learned from him.”-Emerson

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Carnegie:

  • “That is what Schwab did.  What do average people do?  The exact opposite.  If they don’t like to think, they ball out their  subordinates; if they do like it, they say nothing.  As the old couplet says: “once I did bad and that I heard ever/twice I did good, but that I heard never.”-pg 38
  • “I once succumbed to the Fad of fasting and went for six days and nights without eating… I was less hungry at the end of the sixth day than I was at the end of the second.  Yet I know, as you know, people who think they had committed a crime if they let their families or employees go for six days without food; but they will let them go for six days,  six weeks, and sometimes 60 years without giving them the hearty appreciation that they crave almost as much as they crave food.”-pg 40
  • ” When Alfred Lunt, one of the great actors of his time, played the leading role in Reunion in Vienna, he said, “there is nothing I need so much as nourishment for my self-esteem.”  We nurish the bodies of our children and friends and employees but how seldom do we nurish their self-esteem?  We provide them with roast beef and potatoes to build energy, but we neglect to give them kind words of appreciation that would sing in their memories for years like the music of the morning stars.”-pg 40 one
  • “When we are not engaged in thinking about some definite problem, we usually spend about 95% of our time thinking about ourselves.  Now [just imagine], if we [ could] stop thinking about ourselves for awhile and begin to think of the other person’s good points…”-pg 41
  • “Try leaving a friendly trail of little sparks of gratitude on your daily trips.  You’ll be surprised how they will set small flames of friendship that will be rose beacons on your next visit.”-pg 42
  • “Pamela Dunham of  a New Fairfield, Connecticut, had among her responsibilities on her job the supervision of a janitor who was doing a very poor job.  The other employees would jeer at him and litter the hallways to show him what a bad job he is doing.  It was so bad, productive time was being lost in the shop.  Without success, Pam tried various ways to motivate this person.  She noticed that occasionally he did a particularly good piece of work.  She made a point to praise him for it in front of the other people.  Each day the job he did all around got better, and pretty soon he started doing all his work efficiently.  Now he does an excellent job and other people give them appreciation and recognition.  Honest appreciation got results where criticism and ridicule failed.”-pg 42
  • “Hurting people not only does not change them, it is never called for.  There is an old saying that I’ve cut out and pasted on my mirror where I cannot help but see it every day: ‘I shall pass this way but once; any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now.  Let me not deferring or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.'”-pg 42
  • “Let’s cease thinking of our accomplishments, our wants.  Let’s try to figure out the other person’s good points.”-pg 43
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Life Principle #1: Don’t Criticize, Condemn, Complain

I continue to revisit a book and audio book that I wish that I had memorized when I was younger: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

Time and time again  I have found myself using (or trying to use) his principles in my marriage, parenting, and other relationships.

Recently I have had conversations about affirming and its counter–criticizing your spouse.  I have seen and heard about a wife or husband who continually criticizes their spouse.  I have been a master at this myself.  For the most part, I have made a major effort to STOP completely this process.  It is a waste of time, and it turns out to do the opposite of what you want it to.  We seem to think that by giving ‘constructive criticism’ the other person will improve, but they don’t.  In fact, they seem to do MORE of the actions that we want them to change!

2 things:  1. The more you affirm and not criticize; the MORE likely their behavior will change!   2. Don’t try and change your spouse; just love them the way they are!

Principle #1: Don’t Criticize, Condemn, Complain

  • “If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive.”
  • “Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself.  Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment….B.F. Skinner, the world-famous psychologist, proved through his experiments that an animal rewarded for good behavior will learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns far more effectively than an animal punished for bad behavior.”
  • “Lincoln…had learned by bitter experience that sharp criticisms and rebukes almost invariably end in futility.”
  • “The secret of…Ben Franklin’s…success? ‘I will speak ill of no man…and speak all the good I know of everybody.”
  • “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain–and most fools do.  But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.”
  • “As Dr. Johnson said: ‘God himself, sir, does not propose to judge man until the end of his days.’  Why should you and I?”
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Head Injury in Kids

This is a VERY common concern that I see at work.  “My kid has fallen and hit their head.”

This article clarifies that the VAST majority of head injuries in kids are nothing to worry about and do not need imaging.

Kids under 2:  If they have “normal mental status, no scalp haematoma except frontal, no loss of consciousness or loss of consciousness for less than 5 s, non-severe injury mechanism, no palpable skull fracture, and acting normally according to the parents”, then they are at very low risk, and they do NOT need imaging.

Kids over 2:  If they have “normal mental status, no loss of consciousness, no vomiting, non-severe injury mechanism, no signs of basilar skull fracture, and no severe headache”, then they are at very low risk, and they do NOT need imaging.

They obtained a total of  14,969 CT scans and only 0.1% needed neurosurgical intervention.

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I am not enough!

I am NOT enough! My eyes have FINALLY been open to this reality.  Most of us have this ‘wound’ but we just don’t know it.  I have written a brief summary of my learnings to help us all to learn from our past so that we may grow spiritually and emotionally in the future:

“Drew, can you be 1st base coach?” How hard could that be? The player’s are only 5 years old so all I had to do was point them in the direction of 2nd base, say, “great job!”, and my job was done. Or was it? My dad came up to me afterwards and said, “You know that you could have coached them more.” How many times has your mom or dad told you that you could have done a better job at something? Well at 35 years of age, my dad’s comment went on deaf ears until I mentioned it in passing to my wife. She thought his comment was significant, and comments such as those can have a lasting impact especially when you are young.  When she said this, I shared with her those times when I was young that my dad would critique one of my school projects, and he would insist that I throw it out and start all over.

More recently, I followed my father-in-law’s advice and bought a new barbeque from the exact same store and arranged the details of the delivery just as he instructed me. I proudly mentioned to him that I had left just the right amount of money on top of the old bbq so the delivery man would willingly take it away when he delivered the new bbq. When I showed off my new bbq to my father-in-law, I couldn’t get the propane tank hooked up to the bbq because my new bbq had a different attachment than my old one. My father-in-law said, “Oh, I always have the delivery man make sure and hook up the propane tank to the bbq before they leave to make sure that it works.” Finally, I recently had the pleasure of trying to pass a kidney stone. Not wanting to miss any work, I arranged to have it extracted during my vacation time. In passing, I mentioned to my retired father-in-law that I had only missed 1 day of work in 11 years. He said, “I missed 1 day of work in 30 years.” Have there been times in your life when your mom and dad have ‘zinged’ you (probably not even knowing that they had)?

Our dad’s (sometimes our mom’s) tell us over and over again as we are growing up—You are NOT enough! In so many subtle and not so subtle ways. This is the wound that so many men (and women) carry with them. It creates a fiercely critical spirit, a chip on our shoulders, and abrasive arguments when anyone tries to give us “constructive criticism”. We become our dad. It was only recently that a friend pointed this “I am not enough” wound out to me.  It was life changing to begin to process what it meant, how often I responded to my wife and others because of it, and how to learn and grow from it.

There are many practical ways that knowing about this wound has transformed my life.  In the past when I would write an article, I would immediately ask my wife to proof read the article for me.  When she would quickly use the red marker to slash and destroy what I thought was an almost perfect article, I would respond in a fury.  Now I see that I was only responding to my childhood experiences of not being enough.  My wife now knowing my wound has taken it upon herself to help heal my wound.  When I ask for her to proof read anything that I have written, she will affirm me, put it aside for at least 24 hours, and then she will slash away with her red marker.  It is amazing how quickly I become unattached to my work, and then can handle her critiques and edits much better.

My wife and I have an amazing marriage, but we have our share of arguments.  To my surprise, most of our arguments revolve around my “not enough” wound.  We argue because I feel that she has told me that “I am not enough”.  It can be simply because she told me that I loaded the dishwasher the wrong or that I should drive around the block again so my oldest son will be late to a birthday party because he does better when he is not the only kid there.  Yes, believe it or not this can set me off because I feel she is critiquing my driving and my favorite mantra that being early is one of life’s valuable secrets.

Two things have occurred since my “wound” was discovered.  Our arguments still occur, but they are much shorter and often end in laughter.  A less obvious by-product of my discovery stems from my wife’s repeated comment, “Ok already, I got it.  You are not enough.  When will it stop being about that!”  The wound is now so obvious and so prevelant that we both can laugh about it.  I have been healed enough through the process to laugh and with my wife’s encouragement to even tell myself, ‘Get over it!’

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Age old wisdom from Junior Guards

At the end of summer Junior Guards Banquet, the Junior Guard Instructors picked a boy and girl that they felt exemplified being a Junior Guard.  EVERY single one of the instructors said 1 of 3 things about each of these boys and girls.  These boys and girls showed 1 of 3 things that made them stand out among their peers:

  1. They were ENTHUSIASTIC.
  2. They were ALWAYS SMILING.
  3. They ALWAYS said THANK YOU.

Too simple? No. That is ALL it takes!

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What I wish I learned in the 6th grade

I had the pleasure of teaching my son’s entire 6th grade class.  I have volunteered to teach every year on medical topics.  This year I taught on the scientific method, logical argumentation, inference, metaphysics, and a few pearls of wisdom. Click on the yellow tab at the bottom of this post to listen to the teaching time and the GREAT questions that the kids asked.

Please share your thoughts.

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Mother’s Day Advice on Parenting

Uberlumen has been lacking parenting content.  This is a lecture from a panel of mom’s on mother’s day.  They have incredible wisdom and insights into parenting.  Here are a few points:

  • Thankfulness is the password into God’s presence
  • Our family of origin has SO MUCH influence on who we become
  • Christ can heal our family of origin wounds
  • Our marriages shape our children’s character

Please share with us your thoughts and learnings after you listen to these amazing women share their lives and parenting wisdom.

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Best Kids Games: Ticket to Ride

The game of the trip this year was: Ticket to Ride!  I have listed some of the GREAT kids games and it is one of them, but this year we learned Ticket to Ride and my 12 year old and 6 year old LOVE it.  In fact, there is a Ticket to Ride European version that has some tweaks to it that make it just as fun as the original.  This is a great family, thinking, strategy game for kids 8 and up.

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Men’s Topic #9: Thankfulness

“If anyone would tell you the shortest, surest way to all happiness and all perfection, he must tell you to make a rule to yourself to thank and praise God for everything that happens to you…it is certain that whatever seeming calamity happens to you, if you thank and praise God for it you turn it into a blessing…it heals and turns all that it touches into happiness….every day….be made a day of thanksgiving…”-William Law

 

“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.”~Thornton Wilder

“The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts.  No Americans have been more impoverished than these who, nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving.”~H.U. Westermayer

Thankfulness is a state of our hearts.  Practicing the state of thankfulness for EVERYTHING develops in us a heart for others and for God.  Smile and embrace those around you on this day of thanks!

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Men’s Topic #8: Superhero’s

I had an ‘aha’ moment several weeks ago.  Most of the successful men that I know are superheros.  Yes men of steel.  These men are able to detach in a moment’s notice, disengage from wives and family, and ‘puff up’ and plow through any situation.

These men come from wounded back grounds.  Family of origin nightmares.  A distant father and an overbearing mother.  At least one of their parents is inevitably an alcoholic or worse.  At a VERY early age these men hide behind perfection.  When the drunk mom and the distant dad become too much, they amp up and shut off ANY emotions from the outside world and OVER achieve, over and over again.

Over and over again, I hear the same story–abandoned by dad and living with a crazy mom who must spend all her energy raising the prodigal younger brother so the eldest son emerges to save the day: captain of the football, track, AND wrestling team….and did I mention validictorian?  abandoned by a distant dad and living with a drunk mom too spent to supervise the youngest and last kid in the house so this son rises up to MVP of the water polo team, etc.  SAME story different details!

When these men grow up it is no surprise that they live Thoreau’s ‘quiet lives of desperation’ sealed off from any emotions from any chance of intimacy and deep meaningful relationships.

I was amazed by listening to the author of “The Shack” (a MUST read) who described himselft as just such a man hiding his baggage-his “shack”, as he called it, behind him while he hid his true brokenness from the world by perfectionism.

Please enjoy this presentation regarding so many men’s hidden secret: They are superhero’s.

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MARRIAGE TIPS & RESOURCES

Marriage is hard work, but it is worth the effort.

If you are having a hard time with your marriage:

1. Don’t give up! Studies show that divorce can be truly devastating to you, your spouse, and especially your kids.1 2

2. Get professional help!  Don’t try and work through your issues on

your own. Read these books, go to marriage retreats, and get into

consistent marriage counseling.

3. Set down healthy patterns! Find or read about good patterns and then follow them.

 

RESOURCES:

MARRIAGE TOP 10 ‘TIPS’

 

BOOKS TO READ:

1. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

2. His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Hartley

3. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman

4. Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires,The Respect He Desperately Needsby Emerson Eggerichs

5. Night Light: A Devotional for Couples by the Dobson’s

 

As always, PLEASE share with us your insights and comments below.

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House of Speed Training for our kids

A Christian brother of mine that lives in my neighborhood has started a new adventure.  He was my youngest son’s AYSO soccer coach so I know that he is truly AMAZING with kids.  I hope and pray that his new adventure continues to grow and prosper.  Here is an email about what House of Speed is all about and the layout of each training session.  Questions? Call Denny!  Denny Spruce at 949.706.7035-office or 949.500.0015-cell or denny.spruce@houseofspeed.com

Here is the flow of each session:

  • Character Discussion- This includes scripture, references, and/or discussions about what it is and how it looks.
  • Dynamic Range of Motion (DROM)- These exercises not only get the kids warmed up safely, they also train the muscles to get into the proper position for optimal speed, agility, and explosiveness. 
  • Skip Drills- These exercises emphasize getting the right body parts in the right positions and applying force to through those positions.  They need the muscle memory to make this happen with each step and without thinking.
  • Work-out Drills- These routines are used to train and develop specific muscles and movements.  This may include ladder drills to core strengthening to resistance training.
  • Play- Just what it sounds like, but they getting to use what they learn.
  • Prayer- Closing prayer

We videotaped the group running during the first session and we will video new members each week.  In the next week or so we will video everyone again.  We will then show them elite athletes, their first run, and their second run and give feedback.

Also in the next week or so we will start to time them in certain drills and runs.  These times will be posted on the My Speed section of the House of Speed website which you will have access to.  They will be able to chart their progress and be able to compare themselves to other HOS athletes of the same age, gender, etc.  They will also be able to see the national HOS records.  They are pretty impressive. 

Here is a complete summary that should field any other questions:  House of Speed

Enjoy this brief interview with Denny, and as always please leave your comments!


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Vital Signs of Healing: VALUE-Are You Enough? Lecture

Please enjoy a brief lecture on the Vital Signs of Healing: VALUE asking the age old question are you enough?

There are 4 books that I mention during this lecture:

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

The Bible

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Vital Signs of Healing: VALUE-Are You Enough? Q&A

This is the GREAT discussion time that we had concerning VALUE.  Join us! Share with us YOUR answers and please leave us a comment below.

The Vital Signs of Healing: VALUE handout: vital signs of healing: value

Here is a brief list of YOUR answers to this VITAL question:

What are some ways that we can show our patients that we think that they have value or that we think that they are ‘enough’?

  • put yourself at their level
  • eye contact
  • show kindness and help out even when it is not your patient
  • do a little extra if you see a need
  • getting to know them beyond their chief complaint
  • communicate consistency between the doctor and the nurse
  • not about you
PLEASE share with us YOUR answers by posting a comment below. THANKS for joining us!