Tag Archives: men’s group

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Men on the Path 2010

Why bother? It is so EARLY? I would rather be sleeping.  Church on Sunday is enough.

Really? I would agree….10 years ago.  But then…I had no friends that really knew me, that I could share my deepest fears and joys with…I had a marriage that was ok…I was lonely, anxious….

Men’s Group has rescued and transformed my life: I have friends that KNOW me…that I share my fears and joys with…who help guide me…who make me a better husband and a better father.  I have a marriage that is filled with joy. I have men who have surrounded me with love, prayer, and fellowship and who have rescued me.

What is the trick? Just show up.  Yes. It is that easy. Join us.

We are starting up again and going to have an exciting study from the Biblical book of Timothy with an emphasis on Leadership.

  • WHEN: Wednesday’s from 6:45am-8:00am
  • STARTING: January 5, 2010
  • WHAT: 1 Timothy
  • WHERE: North Park Community Center (NOTE: It is best to enter the housing complex off of Portola Parkway because then when you go through the gate the club house where we are meeting is straight ahead of you.

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Men on the Path, November 4, 2009: True Success

We were in session #3 from a quiet strength a men’s Bible study by Tony Dungy and our question for today is: How is God’s definition of success different from how most people define it?
We looked at five key verses: Psalm 1:1-3; one Samuel 16:7; Micah 6: 6-8; Matthew 22:34-40; acts 1:8; Philippians 1: 21

God’s definition of success is “to live is Christ to die is gain” only when we can die to ourselves can we truly be successful. J. C. Ryle in his book titled Holiness points out what it costs to be a true Christian (to gain true success).

“For one thing, it will cost us our self righteousness. We must cast away all pride and high thoughts and conceit of our own goodness… for another thing it will cost us our sins. We must be willing to give up every habit and practice which is wrong in God’s sight. We and our sin must quarrel, if we and God are to be friends….For another thing, it will cost us our love of ease…we secretly wish we could have a vicarious Christianity, and could be good by proxy, and have everything done for us. Anything that requires exertion and labor is entirely against the grain of our hearts… in the last place, it will cost us the favor of the world… surely a Christian should be willing to give up anything which stands between him and heaven…A religion that costs nothing is worth nothing! A cheap Christianity, without a cross, will prove in the end a useless Christianity, without a crown…”-pg 82-86

“We must seek to have personal intimacy with the Lord Jesus, and to deal with him as a man deals with a loving friend. We must realize what it is to turn to him first in every need, to talk to him about every difficulty, to consult him about every step, to spread before him all our sorrows, to get him to share in our all our joys, to do all as in his site, and to go through every day leaning on and looking to him.”-pg 113

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Men’s Group: Session 1-What is YOUR game plan?

The theme for this session was–what has your past taught you and what is your plan for the future?

Monte did a GREAT job of sharing from his heart and reminding us to learn from our past but not to dwell on it. We took out our driver’s license and looked at the expiration date. We discussed our hopes, dreams, predictions for our lives from now until the expiration date on our license.

So much of my life is spent thinking of the ‘if only’s”…or the could have, would have, should have’s…I can find myself sleepless, restless, and fixated on a past pain or regret. I have to shut down that memory tract. It is NOT healthy. I have to capture the lesson, and MOVE ON! I have learned from my past that much of who I am and the things that make me mad are related to my family of origin. I carry a ‘not enough’ wound (more on that in a later post) that causes a deep sensitivity to criticism–especially from my wife. The beauty is knowing this! It has helped immensely to shorten our arguments re: I can see the wound and laugh at how crazy I am to be so sensitive.

My future. I used to be a big planner, but from recent, very painful experiences, I have realized that the future is God’s. Any control of the future that I might have is illusory. So I live each day for the gift that it is being NOW HERE rather than NOWHERE.

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Men’s Group: Why show up? What is in it for me? The storms will come.

We had a football quiz to kick off our fall series: Quiet Strength by Tony Dungy (The Bible Study), and then we spent some time talking.  Mostly small talk….but we also spoke of the importance of being in a men’s group.  Do you ever wonder why? Do you worry about not fitting in? Do you have ‘better’ things to do with your time?  I don’t blame you.  I understand.  I had those thoughts myself, but I took a risk and started to show up and my life has never been the same.  The men in my life have rescued me.

We discussed Matthew 14:22-33.  Jesus calms the storm.  75% or more of men in America don’t have a friend that they can turn to in a ‘storm’.  I am reminded of 2 men who shared with me that they knew each other very well and were close friends, but when we started going deep under the surface, it became clear very quickly that they didn’t truly ‘know’ each other much at all.  This is the norm.  We walk through life completely alone with the facade of knowing each other.

10 years ago, I jumped out of the boat by sharing with a friend one of my deeply held ‘secrets’, and little by little we continued to grow closer and closer knowing everything about each other, our past, present, and future struggles, fears, and dreams.  I have never felt so free, peace filled, and truly alive knowing that there is someone that I can turn to with ALL my fears.

Then the storms came….and I had a friend who was there with me when I was drowning, suffocating, and had no where else to go….he held onto me and kept me from drowning when the waves were crashing over me.

I don’t know any other way to tell you.  One day, I decided to just show up to a men’s group even when I really ‘couldn’t’–too busy, bad time of the day, too early, etc.  By showing up, my life has been transformed–my marriage, my family, EVERYTHING–I now have friends that know more about me than I know about myself.  Join us! AND bring a friend along for the adventure of a lifetime.

The storms will come.  Who will be there for you? How will you survive?

“But what if your heart be right with God, and yet you are pressed down with a load of earthly trouble? What if the fear of poverty is tossing you to and fro, and seems likely to overwhelm you? What if pain of body be racking you to distraction day after day? What if you are suddenly laid aside from active usefulness and compelled by infirmity to sit still and do nothing? What if death has come into your home, and taken away your Rachel or Joseph or Benjamin and left you alone, crushed to the ground with sorrow? What if all this has happened? Still there is comfort in Christ. He can speak peace to wounded hearts as easily as calm troubled seas. He can rebuke rebellious wills as powerfully as raging winds. He can make storms of sorrow abate, and silence tumultuous passions, as surely as He stopped the Galilean storm. He can say to the heaviest anxiety, “Peace, be still!” The floods of care and tribulation may be mighty, but Jesus sits upon the waterfloods, and is mightier than the waves of the sea (Ps. 93:4). The winds of trouble may howl fiercely round you, but Jesus holds them in His hand, and can stay them when He lists. Oh, if any reader of this message is broken-hearted and care-worn and sorrowful, let him go to Jesus Christ, and cry to Him and he shall be refreshed. “Come unto Me,” He says, “all you that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28).”-excerpt from Holiness by J.C. Ryle

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Men of Pathways: Get in the Game!

Join us this Wednesday as we open God’s word and learn from Super Bowl winning Head Coach of the Indianapolis Colts, Tony Dungy, as we go on a six week journey to becoming the men that God created us to be. Come join us and connect with other men in authentic ways and find your answers to the six questions that men often deal with…..

1. What is my Game plan?

2.Where’s my security?

3. What’s my strength?

4. What’s my significance?

5. What’s success?

6. What’s my legacy?

Wed. mornings from 7-8 at the Northpark Club House (10 Meadow Valley, Irvine, 92602)

Please RSVP so I can have a study book ready for you.

Blessings Bucky

http://store.grouppublishing.com/OA_HTML/jtfdload.jsp?fileid=5802180&appName=IBE

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Men on the Path: Men’s Group on Wednesday’s

We are starting up again and going to have an exciting study from Dungy’s Book.

  • WHEN: Wednesday’s from 6:45am-8:00am
  • STARTING: September 23, 2009
  • WHAT: Dungy Bible Study
  • WHERE: North Park Community Center (NOTE: It is best to enter the housing complex off of Portola Parkway because then when you go through the gate the club house where we are meeting is straight ahead of you.


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How simple is the Christian walk of faith?

Here is a marvelous quote from 2 Christian missionaries who live in Africa about the Christian walk.

“Loving God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength will take you to the end of yourself, and you will find yourself looking out over a precipice. Only God can keep you from falling. Only faith working through love counts. Let’s never leave the simplicity and purity of devotion to Jesus. All we know when the pressure becomes great is Jesus and Him crucified. We exist by the power of the Cross, safe and secure.”-Rolland and Heidi

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Worry Free Living by Bill

Worry-Free Living

Christian Soul Care Devotional

William Gaultiere, Ph.D.

In the Bible Paul wrote, “Do not be anxious about anything” (Philippians 4:6). Is this really possible? Can you and I learn to be free of anxiety and worry?

Anxiety is probably the most common problem that Kristi and I have helped people with over the last twenty-five years. In our Christian Soul Care office, in churches, on retreats, and in small groups we’ve given care, counsel, and prayer to so many anxious people – including ourselves!

Is it any wonder why? We try to do too much in a day.  We push ourselves beyond our limits to achieve our goals. We think multi-tasking is good. We drive too fast. We’re information overloaded. We don’t know how to rest and we don’t get enough sleep. We don’t know the meaning of “good enough” or “enough” of anything. We want more than we have. We want better health than we have. We want to be happier than we are. We try to make other happy with us. We seek constant stimulation through entertainment, noise, over activity, adrenaline, or caffeine. And we’re sure that the grass is green on the other side of the fence and somehow we’ve got to get over there.

We think we’re anxious because of stress, but we’re wrong. We’re anxious because of our attitude. We don’t worry or become tense and agitated because of stress that happens to us – stress is a natural part of life. Our problem is that we respond to our life challenges by becoming fearful or by fighting against reality. This internalized stress in our bodies is anxiety and it does more to damage our health and our relationships than probably anything else.

Anxiety is considered a secondary emotion because we only feel anxious when we have unwanted emotions like fear, anger, shame, or sadness that we’re trying to get rid of. In other words, anxiety is a control problem. When you or I are anxious it’s because we’re trying to control things: how we feel, what people think of us, or the outcomes of situations in our lives.

People who are anxious usually feel that they shouldn’t be anxious – they’re upset at themselves for feeling like they do, for being “weak” or for needing help. They’re convinced that if they just try harder things will get better. But trying harder rarely makes things better. We need to learn to try differently, to train to become the kind of person who can rely on care from God and others and submit to God in all things and, therefore, be at peace.

We need to learn to trust God and others by opening up our hearts to care, being honest and vulnerable, admitting to and verbalizing our emotions regarding what’s stressing us out or hurting us. (It’s ironic that accepting the reality of an emotional problem and not rushing to “fix” it helps to relieve anxiety.)

And as part of receiving care it’s very important to focus on absorbing and agreeing with the compassion offered. To “agree with” someone’s care for you is to smile and say, “Thank you!” It’s to say to yourself, “Yes, I needed that listening. What a blessing my friend is to me.” It’s to repeat to yourself words of affirmation or encouragement that someone offers you. It’s to memorize a Bible verse that ministers to your soul and to marinate your mind in it, speaking God’s word to your soul in prayer over and over again. The Psalmist models for us this authentic faith in community and in prayer.

The Psalmist also continually submits himself to the Sovereign Lord’s will, rather than trying to make things turn out in his life the way he wants. He does ask God for what he wants, but then he waits… and waits! And in the waiting he learns to focus his wanting on developing a closer relationship with the Lord rather than being consumed with concern over one of they myriad of lesser blessings we all tend to desire. (It’s another surprising irony that when we deny ourselves we discover true life.) And when he’s angry because he’s been disappointed or mistreated he entrusts his anger to God and his justice rather than seeking revenge or becoming embittered.

Daily I use the Psalmist’s prayers to help me to live out his authentic faith in which he cries out to God. Many of his Psalms read like journal entries and help me to get in touch with and admit my own emotional struggles. And the Psalmist shows me how in the midst of my troubles I can give thanks for the Lord’s goodness to me and speak his words of love to myself.

Each day I also use the Psalmist’s prayers of submission to help me to get into Jesus’ easy yoke (as we discussed in the last Christian Soul Care Devotional). One of the ways that Jesus himself learned to submit to the Father and to stay in the Father’s easy yoke was through praying the Psalms. He prayed the Psalms everyday and he recited them frequently. For instance, one of my favorite prayers of submission is Jesus’ adaptation of Psalm 31:5, which he used during his suffering on the cross: “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit” (Luke 23:46).

Real-life prayers of submission like Jesus’ cross prayer are the best way to eliminate anxiety. Jesus found this so important that he put submission right in the heart of the Lord’s Prayer – even before petitions and confession of sin – with the words: “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10).

Honest prayer and submission to God really works! Some time ago I experienced a disappointment. I put my heart into preparing something and then I was told it wasn’t needed. I felt hurt and frustrated. I started to become anxious so rather than ruminate over the situation or become resentful I talked to God about how I felt (and I might add that I shared this with Kristi). Then a simple prayer of submission came to me: “Lord, your will, your way, your time.” Again and again I prayed this over my disappointment, deepening my submission to God in this matter in three fundamental ways:

  1. God’s will for me is always good and can be accomplished when I am mistreated or experience hardship
  2. God’s way for me to follow is always good and it focuses more on my character formation in Christ than the accomplishments or blessings I may want
  3. God’s time for me to receive what I seek is always good and it usually requires that I wait longer than I want

I have used this prayer of submission as a Centering Prayer for myself and others countless times since. It helps me follow the holy advice I received in spiritual direction from a Benedictine monk: “Relax in the yoke of God’s providence.”

What is something that you’re stressed about or hurting over? Talk to God and a friend honestly this situation and pray to relax in the yoke of God’s providence. Place your struggle before the Lord in prayer as you slowly repeat: “Lord, your will, your way, your time… Lord, your will, your way, your time… Lord, your will, your way, your time.”

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Men’s Group: Calvary Road, Dove and Lamb, Chapter 5

This chapter’s focus is once AGAIN: humility.  Only when we are broken and willing to be filled can we truly embrace and grow in the Holy Spirit’s teachings.  I have included this amazing statement below, study questions, and Dave’s insights.
Study Guide statement, pg 18:  “Remember the goal of the Christ-life is NOT to be a better Christian.  It is to be conformed to the image of God’s Son, by the Holy Spirit’s conquest of self.  Victory is not me overcoming my sin, victory is Jesus Christ overcoming me. When He overcomes me, moment by moment, the only Biblical response is humility and brokenness, which brings on the much needed grace of God. GLORY!

study questions:

1. Take a few minutes to meditate on this statement:  “But inasmuch as there is no past or future with God, but all is present and timeless, there is a sense in which the suffering of the Lord Jesus for the sins of which we have not repented is present too. What a vision it is when we see these sins wounding and hurting Him now!”
2. How can we be more like the Lamb?
  • humility–examples at work and at home?
  • submissiveness–examples at work and at home?
  • self-surrender–examples at work and at home?
3. What does Hession mean by this statement: “Victorious living and effective soul-winning service are not the product of our better selves and hard endeavours, but are simply the fruit of the Holy Spirit. We are not called upon to produce the fruit, but simply to bear it.“
4. “A saintly African Christian told a congregation once that, as he was climbing the hill to the meeting, he heard steps behind him. He turned and saw a man carrying a very heavy load up the hill on his back. He was full of sympathy for him and spoke to him. Then he noticed that His hands were scarred, and he realised that it was Jesus. He said to Him, “Lord, are you carrying the world’s sins up the hill?” “No,” said the Lord Jesus, “not the world’s sin, just yours!”
What are the sins that Jesus is carrying?

Dave’s Insights:  You had to be awake and ready to start this session because Drew got your brain going right out of the gate. Here is what we led off with: Take a few minutes and mediate on this statement, “But inasmuch as there is no past or future with God, but all is present and timeless, there is a sense in which the suffering of the Lord Jesus for the sins of which we have not repented is present, too. What a sin it is when we see these sins wounding and hurting him now.”

Robby said we tend to focus more on the forgiveness than the severity of the sin. I know I have been guilty of that, “I am forgiven” attitude, rather than taking the time to truly realize the impact of my sin and that it is wrong. I have come to realize I do not feel forgiven until I spend time with God, confess my sin and ask for His forgiveness.

The next question asked how we can be more like the Lamb. It gave suggestions for exploration in three areas, humility, submissiveness and self-surrender. Bucky talked about self-surrender. Bucky said sometimes he has hidden expectations and gets distressed when the outcome is not what he expected or wanted. I think we can all relate to that one, can’t we? We all have expectations. What do we do, or how do we respond when that job interview doesn’t get us the job, our finances aren’t where we would like them to be, or, the old, “I never thought I would be in this situation at this point in my life (it isn’t what I expected).” Funny thing is, a song by a fairly new Christian says “Welcome to wherever you are. God makes no mistakes; you are exactly where you are supposed to be.” How true, God has a plan for you. That plan may not be what you want or expect but it certainly is where you are supposed to be. So, maybe in your time with God, you can ask Him, “Lord, how may I serve you in this situation?”  If you keep your heart open, God will use you in that situation, no matter what it is. And, I believe you will both benefit from it.

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Men’s Group: Calvary Road, Highway to Holiness, Chapter 4

The road to Holiness:

  • As a Christian, you will always remain on the road to holiness
  • The journey is called: sanctification
  • ways to not stumble on the road:
  1. physical exercises–kneeling at your bedside every morning to remind you to bend a knee to His will every day, fasting, etc.
  2. spiritual exercises–prayer, authentic community: take off your mask with a close friend daily/weekly (confess and share the intimate details of your life), time in God’s word, or as Francisco has said: “When I wake up every morning, Jesus is waiting for me.” (a focus on Jesus throughout the day, and looking for God moments even in the tough times of your day)

PLEASE read Dave’s wonderful comment below (just click on the ‘1 comment’ in yellow in the right hand corner of this post or click on this post title and you will be sent to a page with his comment below).

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Men’s Group: Fellowship from Calvary Road, May 13, 2009

The progression of the chapters in Calvary Road is significant.  We started with brokenness, then went to confession/cleaning our lives (cups) up so we can fill them with the Holy Spirit, and now we turn to fellowship.

Years ago I kept secrets from my wife, and one day I finally ‘confessed’ and ‘cleaned’ out ALL the skeletons in my closet (cup).  It was a scary, crazy, and bold move that kept us up talking until 3am.  I was scared of her not forgiving me and not understanding me.  She did both.

Shortly after my cup was clean 2 things happened.  My marriage went from great to amazing.  The comfort in KNOWING that there was nothing to hide freed us up to have a depth and peace and intimacy that I would have never dreamed of.  

The second thing that happened is that I learned to share my dirty cup with other men.  I found several men who were willing and that I felt save enough with to share my deepest fears and struggles.  I talk and meet with these men weekly.  This has transformed my relationship with my wife, with Christ, and with everyone around me.  A very large weight has been lifted from my soul, and I have a place to run and hide when things get overwhelming.

Hession in chapter 3-The Way of Fellowship outlines the importance of fellowship in shaping our lives and our relationships with our spouses, our friends, and our God.

Through the years, I have continued to try and coach and encourage other men to ‘date’ each other.  There is a richness to life that is sorely lacking without this process.  But it takes men SO LONG and most NEVER are able or willing to get there.  

The only way to do it is by finding a guy that you feel comfortable with and you take a few baby steps by sharing some private struggles or sins.  See how they respond, If they respond in kind and with understanding then dig deeper and continue to share more.  As you trust more and learn to share more, you will find that your marriage is better, your walk with Christ is deeper, and your life is richer.

Any questions?

Calvary Road, Chapter 3, Fellowship quotes:

But if we have not been brought into vital fellowship with our brother, it is a proof that to that extent we have not been brought into vital fellowship with God
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Sin always involves us in being unreal, pretending, duplicity, window dressing, excusing ourselves and blaming others–and we can do all that as much by our silence as by saying or doing something.
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The only basis for real fellowship with God and man is to live out in the open with both.
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Spurgeon defines it in one of his sermons as “the willingness to know and be known.”
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We must be willing not only to know, but to be known by him for what we really are. That means we are not going to hide our inner selves from those with whom we ought to be in fellowship; we are not going to window dress and put on appearances; nor are we going to whitewash and excuse ourselves. We are going to be honest about ourselves with them. We are willing to give up our spiritual privacy, pocket our pride and risk our reputations for the sake of being open and transparent with our brethren in Christ.
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We have not necessarily got to tell everybody everything about ourselves. The fundamental thing is our attitude of walking in the light, rather than the act. Are we willing to be in the open with our brother–and be so in word when God tells us to?
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When the barriers are down and the masks are off, God has a chance of making us really one. But there is also the added joy of knowing that in such a fellowship we are “safe.”
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Jesus wants you to begin walking in the light with Him in a new way today. Join with one other–your Christian friend, the person you live with, your wife, your husband. Drop the mask.

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Men’s Group: May 6, 2009 Filling the Cup

We discussed chapter 2 of Calvary Road today.  It discusses the importance of brokenness and confession in our lives so that we are willing and ready to be filled by the Holy Spirit to ‘spill out’ the spirit of God onto others around us.  The exercise of brokenness and confession helps for us to get out of the way so God can drive/lead.  

Francisco shared what “personal and daily revival” means to him:

“Jesus is waiting for me when I get up.”  

What would the world be like if followers of Jesus lived like this?  Imagine if you lived a life of anticipation and joy knowing that as soon as you opened your eyes every morning, Jesus was there smiling and waiting for you!  Take away the worry and anxiety and all the stuff packed into our minds, and start each day as an adventure with Jesus.

Quotes from Calvary Road:

“Revival itself is being absolutely filled to overflowing with the Holy Spirit, and that is victorious living.”

“If we were asked this moment if we were filled with the Holy Spirit, how many of us would dare to answer “yes”? Revival is when we can say “yes” at any moment of the day.”

“People imagine that dying to self makes one miserable. But it just the opposite. It is the refusal to die to self that makes one miserable. The more we know of death with Him, the more we shall know of His life in us, and so the more of real peace and joy.”
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Men’s Group: April 29, 2009 Brokenness, Calvary Road

I discovered during last Wednesday’s Men of the Path that Drew is not the only expert on the book, Calvary Road.  Our Pastoral Care Minister, Monty Pries, taught on Chapter One, which is titled, “Brokenness.”  Monty hooks you right away with saying, “This book begins with brokenness, but we don’t.  We begin with pride/ego; we want to accomplish our will, not God’s will for us.”  Coming from the East Coast I can totally relate.  See, in the good old NE, Frank Sinatra is still king in many people’s eyes.  It is amazing how many times you will hear the song, “I Did It My Way” proudly sung.  Many of us know, however, that Frank eliminated the part that says, “Yeah, and look where it got me.”  Which brings me to Monty’s second point; there are two types of brokenness.  One is voluntary, where you choose humility on your own, and the second is involuntary.  Involuntary is where God chooses humility for you; He puts you in the refiner’s fire, and does a very thorough job of it.  Of course, many of you know I waited for God to refine me as I was too busy doing it “my way.”  For those of you that don’t know, “my way” landed me in the best place to not only find God but learn submission – prison.   If you go to www.uberlumen.com, you can hear my testimony, and find a lot of other great stuff. 

We had some great discussion around the tables.  Our table opened with a few words about revival.  A revival is an individual process that takes place in your heart.  It does not have to be the big event we usually imagine when the word revival is mentioned.  We talked about the four desires of the unbroken heart; unyielding, seeking one’s own glory, standing up for one’s own rights and justifying oneself.   {A question – do you need all four to have an unbroken heart?  Please go to uberlumen and ask Drew to post your answer. }  If you have been in a place of brokenness you know what it means to cry out to God, and you also know that if you were sincere in your plea, God got you through it.  Hession puts it this way in his book; “pride at last bows its head to God’s will, admits its wrong, gives up its own way to Jesus, surrenders it rights and discards its own glory-that the Lord Jesus might have all and be all.  In other words, it is dying to self and self attitudes.”  Can you think of a situation where this happened in your life (or is happening now)?  Did you yield to God and His desire to correct your path, or did you exercise your free will and stiffen your neck and refuse to repent?  On thing about dying to self – it is a constant process – every day, several times per day. Bucky sat at our table and asked, “What are you doing each day as a reminder of dying to yourself?”

I will end with one last question for those who could not attend.  Monty talked about the retreat he was on last weekend.  During that time he spoke about entering through a “monk’s door.”  With using any search engines, can you tell me what a monk’s door is and what it’s purpose is?  I’d love to hear from you.

See you next Wednesday morning at the Northpark clubhouse.  This is an EXCELLENT series; please don’t miss it.   Even if you went through it at Mariner’s; we are a different group of people.  You never know what you may learn, or how God will use your knowledge to help someone else.  Remember, EVERY encounter you have with someone either gives life or drains life.  Which do you usually do?

Dave
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Men’s Group: April 8, 2009 Suffering

Last Wednesday was one of those Men of the Path sessions where you just had to be there to fully appreciate what went on.  Perhaps I should have written this last Friday, because Francisco taught on pain and suffering.  What better day to reflect on pain and suffering than Good Friday, right?  If you have not gotten to know Francisco I encourage you to do so.  If you attend Wednesday mornings and have had the opportunity to sit at Francisco’s table you know why I said that.  He is a man of few words.  Generally, Francisco does not speak until the end; but when he does, everyone at the table is in awe.  God’s words just flow through him.  We are blessed to have such a man of God in our church community.  Please ask Francisco to share some of his story with you.

Francisco gave us three Scripture verses and three questions.  The Scriptures were:
Matthew 26:39
John 5:30
Hebrews 5:7-8

Take a moment and read each one.  My favorite of those is Hebrews 5:7-8, “While Jesus was here on earth, he offered prayers and pleadings, with a loud cry, to the one who could rescue him from death.  And God heard his prayers because of his deep reverence for God.  Even though Jesus was God’s Son, he learned obedience from the things he suffered.”

Incredible, isn’t it?  Even though God heard Jesus’ prayers and knew the deep reverence He had for God, God allowed Jesus to suffer. Why?  Because Jesus, in the form of a man, learned obedience from His suffering.  Knowing this helps in meditating on the questions Francisco had for us.  After all, we seem to be more willing to be obedient, and more willing to give God the steering wheel to our lives when pain and suffering come. 

The questions Francisco had for us are the kind that I cannot answer for you; they are ones that you should answer and record in your journal.  The questions were:

Have you experienced pain and suffering without the help of the Lord?
What is the difference in having those same feelings but having the Lord by your side?
How has the greatness of God’s love affected your life to this day?

For those of you that heard my testimony, you know what happened when I told God, “That’s okay, I want to control my own life; just stay out of it and let me be.  I know what is best for me.”  
Some comments about the second and third questions were:
God gives us a peace in knowing He is with us in every situation;
Even though we may have seen our share of difficulties in this life, having a relationship with God gives us hope;
God is the only One that can do the things He’s done in our lives.

I have asked on occasion that you write me with some of your answers and comments.  I am not going to do that today.  I am going to ask that you go to Drew’s website, www.uberlumen.comand send Drew what God is saying to you about pain and suffering; how He is helping you through today’s problems.  Drew would welcome your comments.

Have a great week; remember, no meeting at the clubhouse this week.  We are supporting Bruce and the rest of the men who put together the All Pro Dads program at Hicks Canyon Elementary by meeting there at 6:30 a.m and putting Servant Leadership into effect.  I hope God has it on your heart to come help.  Who knows, you may even get to eat a few pancakes.
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Men’s Group: March 18, 2009 A response to creation: WORSHIP

Here is a GREAT summary from Dave (and the study questions are below as well):

Our “ice breaker” question last Wednesday, was, “Talk about a beautiful place you have visited or would like to visit.”  I cannot say what was discussed at the other tables but there were some great answers at the table where I sat.  Most of us, including me, mentioned great works of God like the Grand Canyon and the Great Lakes.  But a couple of guys spoke of simpler things.  One was the view while sitting on his screened in porch as a child.  The other was watching a farmer till his land and taking in the smells of the earth as it was being turned over.  Simpler is certainly better, isn’t it?  Close your eyes and think of a simpler time in your life and take in it’s beauty.Bucky covered Psalm 139; please take a few minutes and read the Psalm.  What does this Psalm say to you? Here is a quick synopsis of what Psalm 139 says to Bucky.  Verses 1-6 say God knows us intimately.  Verses 7-12 say God is with us constantly. Verses 13-18 say God made us wonderfully, and verses 19-24 say God judges righteously.  So, if David, knew these things about God, how did it effect his relationship with Him?  If you are familiar with David’s life, you know he was far from perfect.  But the Bible tells us David was a man after God’s own heart.  How can that be?  Well, in looking at the verses of Psalm 139 and how Bucky broke them down it is easy to see what David’s reaction was to each.  Since God knows us intimately, David knew we must TRUST God.  It makes sense, doesn’t it.  If someone knows all about you shouldn’t you be able to trust them?  If God is with us constantly, David knew we must ACKNOWLEDGE Him.  It is amazing how David said that no matter where he went he knew God was there.  God is everywhere.  Since God is always with us shouldn’t we acknowledge His presence and act accordingly?  I think it is funny that some people believe they can get away with something because, “no one is looking.”  How untrue.  God knows everything you think, say and do.  So, when you sin, rather than shy away from God, do what David did; acknowledge Him and repent.  You will feel better faster if you get on your knees and say you are sorry.  Ask God to help you overcome your areas of weakness.  Pete McKenzie says the real turning point in his spiritual life came when he got on his knees and said, “Lord, I am a failure at being a Christian.  Would You help me become the man You want me to be?   Well, I’d say God heard Pete and helped him get to his goal.  Since God made us wonderfully, David knew we must PRAISE God.  We’ve heard it before; God has a purpose for our lives.  We have been given talents and spiritual gifts and must use them both for God, not our own personal gain.   Many of us struggle with this one.  We, as men, find our identity in our work.  We justify why we need to put in 12 hours a day.  I would like you to take a piece of paper and write down the five things that are most important to you.  Then, HONESTLY put down how much time each day you spend on those five things.  This will tell you what is really most important in your life.  Lastly, since God judges righteously, David knew we must FOLLOW God, not try and be Him.  In other words, it is not up to us to judge or take matters into our own hands.  Judgment is reserved for God and God alone.  This is my biggest challenge.  I have a tendency to judge rather than listen with an open mind.   Every Wednesday we end with, “How can we pray for you?”  Well, if you are a man of prayer, my request is you pray for me and my judgmental attitude.  Have a great week; I encourage you to spend some time with God and reflect on the blessings He’s given you.

Please enjoy the study questions from our latest men’s group, and as always, please share your thoughts.

Talk about a beautiful place that you have visited or would like to visit?

Psalm 139-I Must Worship

 1 O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. 2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.  3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.4 Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD. 5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,  too lofty for me to attain.7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,”  12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!  How vast is the sum of them! 18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you. 19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men! 20 They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. 21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD, and abhor those who rise up against you?  22 I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies. 23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. 

God knows us intimately—I must_____________him-vv.1-6

God is with me constantly—I must _____________him-vv.7-12

God made me wonderfully—I must____________him-vv.13-18

God judges righteously—I must _______________him—vv.19-24

Questions for Discussion:

1.  What are some of the ways that you see and experience God in this life?

2. How does David’s knowledge of who God is affect his daily life?

3.How is God calling you to live a life of Intimate worship

                -Trust

                -Acknowledge

                -Praise

                -Follow

4. How can we pray for you?

 

 

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Men’s Group: Abide in Him, March 4, 2009

Thanks to Dave for this brief summary:

When Jesus said,  “remain in me and I will remain in you,” He was saying, continue/stay with me and I will continue/stay with you.  Jesus is there waiting for us, but we must first remain in Him.  One of our questions last Wednesday asked how Jesus provides a way for us to stay with Him in true love.  Can you think of any ways He does this?  Our table came up with prayer/alone time with Him as the number one answer.  It’s been said before, the ONLY way to stay in relationship with someone is to talk to them; spend time with them. That goes for our relationship with God, too.  He already knows us; in order for us to get to know Him, we must talk with and LISTEN to Him on a daily basis.  The only way we can truly love like Jesus is by pursuing Him.  Bucky opened last Wednesday with a great story; it was about him practicing basketball and falling on the court.  His Dad saw Bucky fall, went out and picked him up, and said to his crying son, “Bucky, you have been trying really hard.  If you keep training like that you will be an All American one day.”  Bucky told us those tears vanished instantly because Bucky knew his Dad believed in him.  And, this story serves as a reminder that God believes in us. Bucky made it a point to reinforce what Bill Gaultiere used to always tell us in Guide Group.  That is it isn’t about trying, it is about training.  Abiding in Christ trains our hearts to become more like Him.  We can never be Jesus, but we can train with Him.

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Men’s Group Psalm 145, February 4, 2009

Message from Dave from Men on the Path last week:

Sometimes God speaks to you subtly and other times He makes it obvious because He doesn’t want you to miss it.  Sometimes it takes me a while to write these summaries because either I am not listening for God’s voice or He is being subtle and I just don’t realize it.  Anyway, between Wednesday and this morning (Friday) God made it easy for me. I am attempting double duty this year.  In addition to journaling by writing my letter to God each evening, last month I purchased a Daily Devotional where I read a passage of scripture and then it gives a few words as if they are being spoken by God.  I do not know what to make of that yet.   I am pretty rigid when to comes to religion and politics.  I am working on it but I am not there by any means.  I am sure I can find arguments for both sides; those that say it is okay and those that say it is blasphemy.  In any event, I believe my answer came in the last few days and the answer is quite interesting.   But before we get to that…

On Wednesday Robbie lead the Men of the Path session.  We read Psalm 145 (please take some time and read it before going further – it will help –  wish I could put the Final Jeopardy Theme in here so you could hear that music in the background as we pause 🙂  So now you know what we talked about, praising God.  Psalm 145 is a song of praise; yes, praise, and lots of it.  When you read that Psalm look at all of the words David uses for praising his Lord – great, mighty, majesty, power, awesome, righteous, good, compassion, and the list goes on.  David certainly knew who his Lord and Savior was, didn’t he?  How could David pour out such praise?  Well, think of it this way; you cannot praise someone if you don’t have a relationship with them, can you?  So that is where the praise begins, on your knees, spending alone time with Him and listening for His voice.  It begins by acknowledging God for who He is and realizing it is about Him and not you.  You must believe that God is a sovereign God and that God is good.  You must submit to the fact that God knows best and that God’s word is the final authority in your life.  We know from reading and journaling the Psalms during January that David knew these things.  Believe me, it is one thing to write those words and another thing to live by them.   I like what Jan Gilbert said at our table on Wednesday morning; “It is difficult for me to praise God in the bad times.  For instance when I get a flat tire on the way to work, do I say “Yes, thank You, God?”  No, I do not.  Or, I may say it, but do I really mean it? No, probably not”  Jan was being realistic, wasn’t he?  Then Jan gave us another story about when God delayed a family travel plan.  The outcome was amazing.  I encourage you to ask Jan about it when you see him.

Okay, back to the devotional.  Here are the “God speaking” parts from the last two days:

“Do not resist Me or harden your heart.  I take no pleasure in the affliction of My children.  In love, I chasten to prevent the deeper suffering involved should I allow you to go on in a path of evil.  But My heart is glad when you walk close, with your hand in Mine, and we talk over the day’s journey and activities so it becomes a happy way that we travel in mutual fellowship.  So, pour out your praise to Me from a light heart and I will plan your path and we will go singing.”

“Praise Me.  Lift your heart in gratitude.  In your sleeping and your waking hours, My hand of protection and blessing is upon you.  I have built a hedge around you.  Even as was written concerning Job.  It was not a false accusation of the devil to Job.  I removed it to silence the enemy of his soul.  But for the multitudes I have never removed the hedge.  I am keeping you, My child for one purpose in particular – that you may be able to accomplish the task committed to you.”

Amazing, isn’t it?  Out of the 365 days and writings in that devotional; those writings come now.  There are no coincidences, are there?  It is clear to me; Praise Him, in good times and in bad.  Having the abundant life means you are at peace during trials and tribulations.  Remember, if there is anyone we can pray for (including you), Pathways has a great prayer team.  Contact Armando Barrios atbrisamar999@yahoo.com.

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Men’s Group: February 25, 2009 (Matthew 18:21-35)

Here is another great summary of Men’s Group by Dave:

This past Wednesday we studied the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant (Matthew 18:21-35) and how it relates to forgiveness.  Please take a few minutes and read the passage.  I suggest you do it when you have some quiet time because you will get more out of it if you can meditate on the scripture and write in a journal what God says to you about it.   Robby taught on this lesson and he presented a very good question to us; why do we often think about forgiveness as being about the person that needs to be forgiven rather than the person doing the forgiving?  Have you ever thought if you are in a position to forgive that it is about you, not the person you need to forgive?  Cynthia and I used to facilitate a nationally recognized Christ centered divorce recovery program called DivorceCare (www.divorcecare.org).  It is an incredible program.  If you know of anyone who is divorced and they haven’t been through a program PLEASE tell them about DivorceCare.  It does not matter how long they’ve been divorced; it will be the best advice you’ve ever given them.  Encourage them to attend.  Anyway, what I am leading into here is that there was an entire session spent on forgiveness.  This lesson leads off with the statement; “It’s not what you eat, but what is eating you that will kill you.”  How true; if we don’t find it in our hearts to truly forgive, we will harbor bitterness.  That bitterness will come out at some point; most likely against someone we love and care for, someone who did nothing to hurt us.  One thing to remember when talking about forgiveness; forgiveness is not reconciliation.  It is not condoning a behavior and saying it is okay.  Forgiveness is letting go, or setting down a load and not picking it up again.  Reconciliation is restoring a relationship.  You can forgive without condoning or reconciling.  Forgiveness is a decision, not a feeling.  We may not feel like forgiving but we can and should decide to forgive.  One last thing from that DivorceCare lesson; don’t expect or wait for an apology to forgive.  In other words, don’t try to assume control by saying the person must answer to YOU.  No, they must answer to GOD.

Now, back to our Wednesday discussion.  Two lines really got to me in this parable.  They were verses 29-30. Go back and read them. Can you imagine being the guy on your knees begging for forgiveness and the other “person” in the parable is God and He is telling you, “No, you are not forgiven?”  Where would you be?   

I asked a question in the beginning of this email about forgiving being more important to the person forgiving than the person in need of forgiveness.  Forgiveness produces several great benefits for the forgiver.  One is freedom.  Forgiving gives the forgiver the freedom to move on.  It is very healing because the situation no longer has power over the “wronged” person.  If you are in a position to forgive and don’t, you could end up depressed, bitter and/or angry.  All of those will eventually result in loneliness.  Who wants to be around a person like that?  Forgiveness produces healthier relationships.  And, remember what Jesus told us in Matthew 6:14-15; “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”  That is a pretty frightening statement, isn’t it?  It is right there is black and white (or red in some bibles).  I mean what happens if God doesn’t forgive you?  Where do you end up?

Bruce Peotter said something I believe is a very helpful tip for those of you who are married.  Each night before he and Kelly go to sleep, they talk about whether or not either of them said anything that hurt the other person and need to ask forgiveness for.  Think about it.  Rather than “addressing” the issue right then and there, which will almost always result in a heated conflict, you know you can save the situation for later when things have calmed down and talk about it rationally.  Just knowing you have that in your back pocket can keep the person who was “wronged” in a better frame of mind.  I think it is a great idea, don’t you?

How does one forgive?  Well Francisco said that one best.  You must first receive God’s forgiveness before you can truly forgive.  Then, rather than struggling with it yourself; turn the matter over to God.  Try something like, “Lord, make me willing to be willing to forgive because I am not there yet.”  That will really set your heart on the right path.  Some folks never really address their wrongs.  They say over time they forget about it, that time heals all wounds.  Well, from co-facilitating DivorceCare for almost two years I can honestly say, “Time does not heal all wounds.  It covers them.  Only Jesus can truly heal.

Well, I guess I made up for last week’s short email.  Thank you for taking the time to read this.  May God bless you and keep you.

Dave

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A ‘kingdom of God’ prayer!

Bill has written an incredible prayer of love, submission to His will, and living in the Kingdom NOW! Please enjoy it and let us know your comments. (check out more of Bill’s wisdom)

I love you Jesus!  I love you Father!  I love you Holy Spirit!  Lord, today I want to live my life as your apprentice – teach me what you want me to learn and help me to accept whatever circumstance you allow in my life as an opportunity to be mentored by you.  Today I devote my whole self to you – my heart, my mind, my body, my relationships, my soul, all of me. Today I ask you to live through me in all that I think and desire and in all that I say and do. Today I submit myself and my life to you and your kingdom purposes.  Today want to live in the reality of and from the resources of your kingdom of the heavens in my midst.  Today as I walk the path of life with you I want to share your love with whoever I meet.

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Men’s Group January 21, 2009: David’s Grace to Mephibosheth

Passage: 2 Samuel 9

David asked, “Is there anyone remaining from Saul’s family I can show kindness to because of Jonathan?”2 There was a servant of Saul’s family named Ziba. They summoned him to David, and the king said to him, “Are you Ziba?””[I am] your servant,” he replied. So the king asked, “Is there anyone left of Saul’s family I can show the kindness of God to?”Ziba said to the king, “There is still Jonathan’s son who is lame in both feet.”  The king asked him, “Where is he?”Ziba answered the king, “You’ll find him in Lo-debar at the house of Machir son of Ammiel.” So King David had him brought from the house of Machir son of Ammiel in Lo-debar.Mephibosheth son of Jonathan son of Saul came to David, bowed down to the ground and paid homage. David said, “Mephibosheth!””I am your servant,” he replied. “Don’t be afraid,” David said to him, “since I intend to show you kindness because of your father Jonathan. I will restore to you all your grandfather Saul’s fields, and you will always eat meals at my table.”Mephibosheth bowed down and said, “What is your servant that you take an interest in a dead dog like me?”Then the king summoned Saul’s attendant Ziba and said to him, “I have given to your master’s grandson all that belonged to Saul and his family. You, your sons, and your servants are to work the ground for him, and you are to bring in [the crops] so your master’s grandson will have food to eat. But Mephibosheth, your master’s grandson, is always to eat at my table.” Now Ziba had 15 sons and 20 servants.Ziba said to the king, “Your servant will do all my lord the king commands.” So Mephibosheth ate at David’s  table just like one of the king’s sons. Mephibosheth had a young son whose name was Mica. All those living in Ziba’s house were Mephibosheth’s servants. However, Mephibosheth lived in Jerusalem because he always ate at the king’s table. He was lame in both feet.

 

 

1. Why did David show kindness to Mephibosheth?

 

2. Why is David’s kindness to Mephibosheth so significant?  What did the incoming king usually do to the outgoing king and his family?


3. What would you have done?  


4. Who is your Jonathan?


5. How did you develop a Jonathan friendship?  What does it take to develop a Jonathan friendship?


6. What is your Mephibosheth? (Where are you ‘lame’? What is your ‘tweak’?)


7. How does God respond to our ‘tweaks’? to our deformities?


8. How can we respond to other’s ‘tweaks’/deformities?

Dave wrote:

Cynthia and I just finished watching Evan Almighty.   Some of you are probably aware that Cynthia serves Pathways by teaching the 4th/5th graders every other Sunday.  Well, last Sunday (1/18) the lesson was on Noah.  One of the children brought up the movie, Evan Almighty.  Turns out, all of the kids in Cynthia’s class had seen it; neither one of us had.  If you have not seen this movie, I recommend you do; we really enjoyed it.  So, what does this have to do with our Men of the Path meeting last week?  In Bucky’s absence (welcome back Bucky), Drew taught on 2Samuel 9, which is the story of David and Mephibosheth.  (Don’t worry, when read the story, the name Mephibosheth comes up often enough you will be able to pronounce it before you finish).  {Pause, while you read the scripture.}  Okay, now that you’ve read the story (and if you’ve seen the movie) you can see the connection.  At the end of the movie, God writes the word “ARK” in the sand for Evan.  ARK is an acronym for Act of Random Kindness.  In 2Samuel 9, David shows Mephibosheth an Act of Random Kindness.  David’s word to his friend, Jonathan, took precedence over the world’s view of what a king should do.  In the culture of the day, a king would kill all members of the outgoing king’s family.  Mephibosheth was the “son of Jonathan, son of Saul,” as the Bible puts it; Mephibosheth was Saul’s grandson.  He not only had this as a mark against him but Mephibosheth was also lame in both feet.  In David’s day, people had no use for a cripple; they were generally ignored by society and left to die.  I got the impression that nearly everyone forgot about Mephibosheth; he was considered worthless.  Can you imagine what was going through Mephibosheth’s mind as he was being escorted to see the new king?  The man his grandfather was trying to kill?  The man who conquered and now ruled the land?  Verse 7 tells us the answer;  “David said, don’t be afraid.”  Rather than follow the culture of the world, David chose an Act of Random Kindness.  Mephibosheth got to eat at King David’s table every night and was given all of his grandfather’s land and servants.  In the end, Mephibosheth enjoyed a privileged life.  So, I ask, have you shown an ARK lately?  Has God blessed you and have you given that blessing back by showing kindness to someone who may need it right now?  Do you know there are men and women at Pathways who have been unemployed for some time?  Have you talked to them or prayed for them lately?  Have you asked them how you can help?  As I write this I find myself saying I have not done enough.  I pray for them but I have not been in close communication with them.  I know I cannot offer financial assistance but I can offer words of encouragement, a handshake or a hug.  I hope this touches your heart enough to seek out those who are struggling and ask how you can help.  If you don’t know who the unemployed are, ask Bucky, or one of the elders.  There are a lot of churches and a lot of men’s groups out there.  So how can we be different?  By walking our talk.  Remember, we are a community, a family.  And, we aren’t just any men’s group; we are the Men of the Path.  Let’s reach out and show we care (see Acts 2:42-47 for a biblical example of truly sharing in community and fellowship and what God did in return).

As always, please share your thoughts with us.